10 Clues for the Clueless Who Can't Get Laid
10 Clues for the Clueless Who Can't Get Laid
by dudefurious
1. Keep Clean - Very basic stuff here...bathing, and clearing out the crevasses on a daily basis doesn't make you a metrosexual, but it does make you presentable. Women respond to their sense of smell.
NOTE: Getting a manicure or pedicure does make you a metrosexual.
2. Find a Scent - Again, women respond to their sense of smell. Find
something that works, but be subtle. Obsession for Men seems to work. Many times I have had a woman say, "You stink good," while they're unbuttoning my shirt.
3. Keep the House/Apartment Clean - The only way you'll get any sex from a woman is if they think you have some potential. After physical appearance, how you keep your environment is a sign that women look for when it comes to judging potential. It's not important that you actually have potential, but you need to at least create the illusion. Get rid of the clutter, pick the freakin clothes up off the floor, and scrub the kitchen and bathroom (this includes the toilet) before you have a woman over.
4. Things to Hide - Porn and stuff like comic books and science fiction paraphernalia make you look like a dork. Dorks do not get laid. This may not be fair, but it is reality. Once the "relationship" has reached a comfortable stage, you may want to slowly come out of the closet with these things...but tread carefully.
5. Read Books/Get Books - No one is asking you to join a book club, but women respond well to guys who appear literate. Read books until you find a favorite...when it's brought up in conversation and you appear to know what you're talking about, it gives you the illusion of depth. Try to have about three bookshelves of non-science-fiction fiction. Don't buy new books from Borders. Go to a book sale at the local public library and load up on used books...you can get bags of books for practically nothing. Once on the shelves these worn books will imply that you've actually read them.
6. Vino - Have wine in the house at all times. You'll only have to drink it when she's over. Have a red, dry white, and zinfandel on hand and have them out to see, preferably on one of the kitchen counters. Wine gives the illusion of class. Women sleep with guys they think have class.
7. Cook - Learn how to cook a meal. Look through some cookbooks and find something that's somewhat gourmet that you'd actually want to eat. Try to make it at least once a week until you think you've mastered it. Nothing sets the mood for her better than a good smell coming from the kitchen and you hovering over a skillet.
8. Music Sets the Mood - While you could easily listen to Led Zeppelin until your ears bleed, Robert Plant's screeching voice isn't likely to set the tone for the evening. Go to iTunes and look for background music. Van Morrison is always good, and jazz standards by Diana Krall also work well.
9. Get Your Ass in Shape I dont care how the f*** you do it, but do it. Eat less, walk more. Heres the thing if you havent figured it out yetYOU ARE GETTING OLDER EVERY F***ING DAYare you looking forward to being sickly in your later years because you did nothing about your body today? If a woman sees you as out of shape now, she sees you as a potential burden later.
10. Money Women who are worth a damn respect and are even intimidated by men who are good with money. If you are clueless about money, get yourself educated. Be disciplined without appearing cheap. Avoid strip club and casinos.
copyright dudefurious - no copying without permission
by dudefurious
1. Keep Clean - Very basic stuff here...bathing, and clearing out the crevasses on a daily basis doesn't make you a metrosexual, but it does make you presentable. Women respond to their sense of smell.
NOTE: Getting a manicure or pedicure does make you a metrosexual.
2. Find a Scent - Again, women respond to their sense of smell. Find
something that works, but be subtle. Obsession for Men seems to work. Many times I have had a woman say, "You stink good," while they're unbuttoning my shirt.
3. Keep the House/Apartment Clean - The only way you'll get any sex from a woman is if they think you have some potential. After physical appearance, how you keep your environment is a sign that women look for when it comes to judging potential. It's not important that you actually have potential, but you need to at least create the illusion. Get rid of the clutter, pick the freakin clothes up off the floor, and scrub the kitchen and bathroom (this includes the toilet) before you have a woman over.
4. Things to Hide - Porn and stuff like comic books and science fiction paraphernalia make you look like a dork. Dorks do not get laid. This may not be fair, but it is reality. Once the "relationship" has reached a comfortable stage, you may want to slowly come out of the closet with these things...but tread carefully.
5. Read Books/Get Books - No one is asking you to join a book club, but women respond well to guys who appear literate. Read books until you find a favorite...when it's brought up in conversation and you appear to know what you're talking about, it gives you the illusion of depth. Try to have about three bookshelves of non-science-fiction fiction. Don't buy new books from Borders. Go to a book sale at the local public library and load up on used books...you can get bags of books for practically nothing. Once on the shelves these worn books will imply that you've actually read them.
6. Vino - Have wine in the house at all times. You'll only have to drink it when she's over. Have a red, dry white, and zinfandel on hand and have them out to see, preferably on one of the kitchen counters. Wine gives the illusion of class. Women sleep with guys they think have class.
7. Cook - Learn how to cook a meal. Look through some cookbooks and find something that's somewhat gourmet that you'd actually want to eat. Try to make it at least once a week until you think you've mastered it. Nothing sets the mood for her better than a good smell coming from the kitchen and you hovering over a skillet.
8. Music Sets the Mood - While you could easily listen to Led Zeppelin until your ears bleed, Robert Plant's screeching voice isn't likely to set the tone for the evening. Go to iTunes and look for background music. Van Morrison is always good, and jazz standards by Diana Krall also work well.
9. Get Your Ass in Shape I dont care how the f*** you do it, but do it. Eat less, walk more. Heres the thing if you havent figured it out yetYOU ARE GETTING OLDER EVERY F***ING DAYare you looking forward to being sickly in your later years because you did nothing about your body today? If a woman sees you as out of shape now, she sees you as a potential burden later.
10. Money Women who are worth a damn respect and are even intimidated by men who are good with money. If you are clueless about money, get yourself educated. Be disciplined without appearing cheap. Avoid strip club and casinos.
copyright dudefurious - no copying without permission
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