Truth: Pic of the Day

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 42908

1. So I'm at the hardware store the other day looking at paint chips. I'm minding mine own business, numb to the world per usual. Then standing next to me is a young chick, probably 25ish, attractive, and wearing a revealing top. She asks me if a certain paint chip matched another better than the next. I looked at the chip and said no, this color was better. It was a green of some sort. She didn't like my answer. Then I continued to mind my own business. She then asks me about another chip to look at. I said yeah that's a pretty good match. She was happy and said she knew it. Then she said she loved green and silver because it was going to match her new tattoos. OK here's the kicker. I can see her new tattoos. It's angel wings on her breasts. I mean they were there like a soaring eagle just waiting to fly away. I looked at the paint counter guy a bit perplexed, and he smiled at me and just nodded his head in agreement. She walked away. I then ordered 5 gallons of green and silver paint for the heck of it.

[Insert Steve Miller Band "I want to fly like an eagle"]

2. I've recently heard that 2 people I know have gotten their long time girlfriends pregnant. No it wasn't planned, but both want to marry the girl because they believe it's the right thing to do. Is it the right thing to do for the child? Or it is better to be single and raise the kid? Tough call. I fully support them and have no worries.

3. I've decided to stain the concrete in my basement. I'm new to this process but looking forward to the finished product. I would like to do multiple colors but have been advised by the Martha Stewart Fan Club (women I work with) that I should stick to one color. Heck what do I know? Apparently if you don't have a vagina you can't interior decorate!



5. This is the first year in about 15 years where I haven't paid attention to the NFL Draft that just happened. I just ignored the hype and didn't want to see the Lions mess up again. Did they mess up? Well time will tell but the odds are they did. Their track record proves that point time and time again. They drafted guys that other teams probably were not going to take at those draft positions. So the consensus is they could have taken those guys much later. Essentially how they drafted didn't make sense to the experts. The guys they did get excelled at their positions statistically, but that doesn't always translate to NFL success. It was better than last year, but still alot to be desired. I think they will get 4 wins this year.

4. So for a couple of years they've advertised SONIC burgers here in Michigan. Why do they do this when there are no stores in the state? Good marketing I suppose. Now I've heard these are just awesome and well worth it. That they blow away any current fast food joint burger. It's not my thing, but I am interested to see what the hype is. There is a new store opening up soon, and a total of 45. Anyone ever tried one of these things?

[ Today's blog is brought to you by the word procrastination ]

6. I've come to a standstill on answering my emails, my voice mails, and sometimes even my text messages. I just look at my phone and set it down when it rings. Emails pile up and I don't even care. I've got about 500 in my inbox to tend to currently. I have no motivation to go through them or answer them promptly for some strange reason. Probably because it will never end. It will never end. It will never end. Also it will never end. So if I ha vent contacted you back, it's because I don't care!

7. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Mr. Crab from Spongebob Squarepants. So I've been told lately. I'm not cheap, just frugal darn it!

8. Speaking of frugal for the last couple of years I've been skimping out on quality food to save money. That is, I'll skip a good meal to save a buck or two.
Skimping out on quality food has gotten the best of me. I'm done with that. Stupid on my part for even trying such a thing. I've felt like hell, and I was tired of it. Eat well and be merry.

9. Chew on this baby - I'm down to zero sticks of gum per day. Zero! I've gone cold turkey and haven't touched a piece in 10 days or so. If I can do it, so can you! From 2 packs to zero. Hi I'm Dino and I'm a recovering gum chewer. [[welcome to the club Dino, thanks for coming]]. Smack!

10. Apologies continue over 'topless' Miley Cyrus pics. Her parents are upset that it occurred. Her photographer has apologized...etc etc. Now I could care less about her or her silly photographs. I couldn't even tell you what she looks like. The deal that bugs me is everyone that buys into the fact that this was a mistake. Everyone that buys into the fact that celebrities do not know what they are doing, or somehow their PR machines have no clue what's going on. People, it's fixed! It's staged. It's to get you to buy the magazines, to get you to talk about it. Stop paying attention to it and it will go away eventually. Bad press is still good press.

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 42408

1. Hmmmm "Italian men will say exactly what you need to hear to make you feel like you are the only woman on this earth for them". Is this true? I'm Italian and I want you tell me if you think this is a true stereotype or not.

2. When the Detroit Red Wings are on the stupid channel called Verses, I can't watch them. I don't have it. Way to to go Gary Bettman! Way to alienate me from my own team. Just perfect. Go HABS! I need to run this league. Running the country, or the NHL..I havent decided who needs me more.

4. So I go out for lunch today at the mall. They have a food court there. So my buddy goes and gets one thing, and I decide to go somewhere else. He gets his food. Me? It takes 15 minutes to get my good. I couldn't believe it. Why does it take so long to get food at lunch time? Hello stupid people, it's lunch time. Is this new to you or something? Hire enough employees to cover lunch hour so you can churn more customers. The more customers you get in an hour that can be serviced the more business you will generate. Your customers will be happy too. Amazing concept I know.

3. Green this, Green that, Green this, Green that. I'm sick of it really Not Green Tea though). Sick of hearing how bad of an American I am, and how I need to save the planet. We've been trying to save the planet for 20 years at least and is it really helping? One would with think with an increasing amount of the population doing the little green things here and there you would see the cost of energy going down. But nooo...energy costs go up. Since we use less of it, the price should go down no?

5. E-mail vs. Post Office. Why in the world do they raise stamps when emailing letters is a thing of the past? With increasing numbers using online billing, and e-mail to correspond, the price of a stamp has continued to rise at least every year. I'm not understanding this. We've been licked.

[ Today's blog is brought to you by Mr. Crab ]

6. We were told that helping Kuwait would lower the cost of oil. We were told that invading Iraq would lower the cost of oil. We were told that rebuilding Afghanastan was going to lower the cost of oil. Today I put $60 in my tank, and I still didn't fill it. I just stopped at 60, coz I was really bothered by it. No, I don't care what it costs to fill a tank of gas in Frankfurt or London. Who cares! I remember when gas was $0.70 a gallon.

7. If I could be a professional ball player I'd choose baseball. I'd potentially have a longer career and chicks dig the long ball. A football player can't walk after his career is over. A basketball career is not that long. A hockey player is grueling and your face gets more messed up. I need all the help I can get, not the opposite. Baseball it is. Now I know what I want to be when I grow up.

8. Hey Dino are you going to join Weight Watchers?

9. I like golf. I don't play as much as I would like. The one thing I don't really like about golf is the culture. I hate the clothing, the snobbery, the arrogance that just about everyone who plays is a part of. I have no problem with those that golf often, let alone those who golf really well. I respect and envy them, I just wish I had that much time to kill playing. Let alone the coin needed to play that game.



10. If a man has had many relationships, then it's assumed that he is experienced. If a woman has had many relationships, then it's assumed she is a slut. If she isn't a slut, then it's assumed that she is a psycho and has some deeper problems. Aren't women getting pimped by these assumptions, or is there no way out of it? If Sally has had 10 relationships that were all serious, then PSYCHO comes to mind. If Sally has had 10 meaningless relationships, then she's a slut. There might be a double standard, but it seems the woman can't get out of either assumption - it's one or the other is it not?

Free AL and the Octopi

Save the Octopus!

http://www.petitiononline.com/octopus8/

Sign this petition so that Al Sobotka the Zamboni driver can still wave around the octopus at Red Wings games...instead of getting fined by the league commissioner Gary Bettman (aka the Count from Sesame Street).

Earth Day Plans

I plan on cutting down a few trees, flush my toilet 2 times each time I use the restroom, and I plan on leaving all the lights in my house on when I leave for work. I'm opening all the windows, then turning on the air conditioner. I'm going to fill up gas tank in my car, and take the long way to work. When I get home I'm going to mow the lawn twice. Start up the snow blower to make sure it works. Then I'm going to have a huge bonfire. I'll print 500 pages with the word earth day on it, then throw that in the bonfire. Then I'm going to light a cigar. I might, just might spray paint a bridge somewhere.

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 42108

1. My brother comes over with some lasagna that is from my mom. She called earlier in the day and said he was bringing some food over for me. I'm thinking YES, food from my mom on a Sunday what could be better? It has to be good! It has to be something Italian no doubt. I was salivating all day. He finally arrives, and low and behold it's lasagna. I love lasagna (note: I used to go to school with a girl named Lasagna..true). So it looks good, but not like she usually makes. I take one bite, and stop in my tracks. What is this? I ask my brother what's going on here? He said it's horrible...and it's from Costco. WHAT!!! Lasagna from Costco? I don't know whether to call my mom or cry. Rest assured we are going to have an intervention. This Americanization of my mom must stop. STOP NOW.

2. I love running into people that have Hillary signs or Obama signs. Because I ask them why they support them and all they can say is they want change, and they don't like Bush. They can never list one thing that will change, or real reasons why they don't like Bush. I find it funny and sad all at the same time.

4. Every morning when I go to check my email, I have the news on the background. I'm big on background noise you know. I've come to realize that I'm only doing this to watch the weather and traffic girl. I have no idea what they are saying, but I like to look at them every morning. If I don't see them, my day never starts right. I have no idea what they say, I just stare. In fact I think their jobs are pointless, but I'd be lost without them. Don't ask me what the weather is and inevitably I'll probably drive through the traffic jam I was told to avoid. Ask me what outfit they wore today and I can tell you in detail.

3.One of my insiders has told me that 10 to 20 Detroit Police officials may be given arrest warrants for helping out the mayor and his little text/lying fiasco. If that's the case, that is FRIGGIN HUGE! "Friggin Huge" with a Scottish accent huge!

5. Painting with Venetian Plaster is a chore. It's a long and tedious process. Then again, so am I. It takes forever to do, but it looks better than any paint job I've ever done. So I'll settle for perfection over quickness any day. I need help though. Someone help me. I've got probably a few more weeks worth of work.

[Today's blog is brought to you by the vitamin niacin]

6.I got hoodwinked into bowling at work for a charity fundraiser. I'm opposed to doing work functions outside of work. But I did it. I was bowling and in Downriver Detroit at the same time. I'm going for therapy next week about it. Bowling is something I really don't understand. I mean for these type of things it's fine, but I just wish it was outdoors. BOCCE! Leagues on the other hand, what the heck is going on there? I know some couples who do this and they wear the matching satin jackets, and the live for bowling. You know,all the oil on your clothes, the horrible food, the smoke. It's really disgusting.

7. So this guy I know, who shall rename nameless since he reads these...breaks up with girls via text message. Are you kidding me? I laughed when he told me. How great is that? I can't help but think it's cowardliness or just a byproduct of technology. He says it's all a matter of convenience. What do you think? Lame or is this ok? What would you do if you got dumped via text message?




8.I've been invited to go on a hot air balloon ride this summer. I've always wanted to do that.

9. I would like to go back in time and somehow tabulate all of the money I've spent on pop (soda for you Easterners) and bottled water in my life time. I just would like to have all of that money back. Yeah I'm sensing a guilt load of wasted money over the years on that stuff when I didn't need to do it. I'll still buy water from time to time, but I try to avoid it. More often than not I've been ordering water with my meals in order to save some coin over the last 10 years. I should calculate what I save that way. Am I cheap or frugal?

10. When do you cross the line of care vs. hurt? You want to tell someone that you care about, something very important. You know full well it will hurt them and there is no way around it. Do you just delay and hope it goes away, and maybe they will realize it eventually. Or do you confront them and ultimately hurt them. Thus potentially ending your relationship with them immediately? Tough call. But what do you do?

My work is never done...

People like Sam scare me. They are "bought" and paid for by the media and fear of the neo-cons.


From: hockeydino@gmail.com
To: Sam
I'm voting for Ron Paul. I would never waste my vote on those 3 screw ups. Have fun enjoying your taxes being raised and your freedoms taken away, coz thats more of what you'll get with them. I'll continue to protest.

On Sun, Apr 13, 2008 at 5:16 PM, Sam wrote:
So you're going to vote for Hillary or Obama. How's that better? Or, I know -- you won't vote. And, whom does that hurt besides yourself? Of the three, you can only vote for the one so, which one?
Sam

From: hockeydino@gmail.com
To: Sam
Why McCain? You mean that guy that has repeatedly betrayed our POWS. I trust Obama about as far as I can throw him. Hillary is a no-brainer. www.knowbeforeyouvote.com


On Sat, Apr 12, 2008 at 10:47 PM, Sam wrote:
After long and serious thought, I have decided to vote for Senator John McCain for President. I have always voted for the Person and have not voted for anyone because some political party was telling me who I should vote for.

We all know the choices by now and, tat said, I do believe that the process of selecting a chief executive is deeply flawed. The words "money" and "special interests" come to mind, among many others. Here's the way I see it:

Barack Obama, you are a fine public speaker. You are also an extremely liberal Senator from the State of Illinois, which has a long and rich history of political corruption of the first magnitude. You are indeed a child of that system.

You have finally insulted my intelligence far beyond my capacity to tolerate your insults. It has nothing at all to do with your skin color. As a matter of fact, it would be so COOL to finally have an African-American for President. What a great statement that would be to the entire world that we are indeed the greatest country on earth!

But, unfortunately, General Colin Powell is not running, and YOU are NOT the man for this job ! Barack baby, you want me to believe that you have never heard the sermons of your own pastor, the Right Reverend "God Damn America" Jeremiah Wright. It is a matter of record that this has been your church for over 20 years. It is a matter of record that you were married there by this very pastor, and that your children were baptized there.

The good Reverend saw fit to visit Khadafy in Libya with you and to give a lifetime achievement award to Louis Farrakhan, of all people. We have all now seen excerpts of his sermons all over the airwaves by now. And you have publicly stated that this man IS your "spiritual mentor". BUT, your pastor is NOT the reason I am NOT voting for you. His words were disturbing enough, but it is your own HUGE church congregation, seen jumping, hooting and howling to his words in the background that disturb me the most. And please don't tell me you attended church there and never once heard a "discouraging word" in the 20 years you attended there. Don't tell me, that in addition to the good reverend, that you are now not having anything to do with all those other people seen hooting and howling out in the audience in the background of his fiery tirades. Even Oprah Winfrey got disgusted and walked out. I am no Oprah fan, but still she did the right thing.

Now YOU look me in the eye and ask me to believe that you never heard such language in all the years you attended there ! This is like me telling you that I attended dozens of Klan rallys and never once heard the "N" word. Yep. And Bill Clinton "did not inhale".

Yes, Mr. Obama, we all have friends who have said stupid things that embarrassed us, but NOW you have asked me to believe something that is so incredibly stupid that you are telling me that I am just stupid enough to believe you. THAT is the main reason that I will never vote for you. I am deeply sorry, that in a county teeming with enormously talented African Americans who would make a good President, that the political system has chosen YOU. You are a pathetic and plastic excuse for an American, who will not even salute the Flag during the Pledge of Allegiance. God forbid you ever get near the Oval Office.

Now, did I mention Bill Clinton ? AH YES ! This brings us to MRS. WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON, who this candidate really is, in spite of all the other names she may care to call herself. This "feminist" piece of work of course would like to be referred to as MS. and we all know who wears the pant suit in that family.

MS. Clinton, (sugar), it is just as depressing to realize that there are dozens of women who would also make great Presidents. But, fortunately, the horrible state of the selection process has selected YOU. Ms. Clinton, I'm sorry, but you could not tell the truth if we waterboarded your worthless ass !

Still you play the role of the "embarrassed but dignified noble wife". What utter malarky ! I am not voting for you for a world of reasons, but the main one is the same as my not voting for Senator Obama. You persistently insult my intelligence. It COULD be conceivably possible that you did not know about Monica Lewinsky, extremely remote, but possible if we stretch our imaginations a bit. But you turn around and then ask me to believe that you also did not know about Paula Jones and the legion of other women who were chewed up and spit out by your lecherous excuse for a husband. Puleese turn off this broken record !!!

But let's set aside your hubby's flagrant pecadillos. The real reason I will never vote for you is that I don't think the country can survive EIGHT MORE YEARS of Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Sandy Berger stuffing his socks with classified intelligence, Janet Reno's goon squad, and the myriad other corruptions that seem to stick to you like your ugly face. So our former President can't keep his dick in his pants. The REAL issue is that he committed perjury under oath when he lied about it and the pathetically-attempted coverup that followed.

Like you, he is totally incapable of telling the truth. He could not do it if you tortured him, and in voting for you, we would get the BOTH of you, all over again. The same folks who could have taken out Osama Bin Laden over 3,000 dead Americans ago !

And please stop telling me that you have "8 years of experience" to lead us. You were the freakin' first lady already, not the Commander in Chief. Jeez ! The sum of your "experience" is that of the most worrisome and incompetent meddling in the history of the White House. You even cursed your pitiful staff and the Secret Service agents who were and still are unfortunately charged with risking their lives to protect your worthless, thieving hide, and all at the expense of other people who have to work for a living.

Your single pathetic platform is to finance the illegal drugs, alcoholism and bad habits of the very lowest and most irresponsible freeloaders in America and to then "garnish the wages" (your own words) of every law-abiding and hard-working American to pay for it. This disaster you refer to as "Universal Health Care". Where have you been the last 30 years ? Did you not see that socialism is a failure wherever it has been tried ? Did you not notice that the Soviet Union has collapsed since it gave no reward to those who worked the hardest for the fruits of their own labors to pay for those who will not ??

It is interesting to see all the dead bodies that you and your hubby have left in your wake. Suicides, mysterious deaths, cover-ups that make Richard Nixon look like a rank amateur. The utter contempt and unbelievable arrogance of some of your strongest supporters, most notably the recently resigned and disgraced Governor Eliot Spitzer, the epitome of hypocritical and malevolent arrogance gone wild, one of your most ardent, wealthy and powerful political supporters. A man the news media refuses to admit IS a "super delegate" in your own political machine, a fine example of your own "adopted" state of New York. No wonder you moved there to run for Senator ! The environment there is perfect for the likes of you ! Yes, I would vote for a woman, but I will NOT vote for YOU ! Which leaves us with Senator John McCain. John, you are a flawed man. You are a bit old, a bit looney, and you have a notoriously bad temper. This perfectly qualifies you, in my humble opinion, to lead us for the next eight years. I WANT your trembling hand on the nuclear button. Think about it. We have Kim Jong IL, Chavez and Ahmadenijad all running around like lunatics, threatening America and threatening to plunge the world into nuclear Armageddon. We have Putin and the Chinese blustering and rattling their sabres at us. I want John McCain in the Oval Office and I want him to be really pissed off at all these other nut jobs around the planet.

John, once you are elected, I want you to go into the Oval Office and throw one of your perfect FITS. Jump up and down and throw something through a plate glass window. Rip the drapes down and foam at the mouth a bit. And I want the whole thing on camera so that Ahmadinejad can see it. I want ALL of these "world leaders" to lay awake at night and to break out in a cold sweat every time they think of messing with the United States of America. I want the nuclear button sitting right next to the alarm clock on your night stand. I want pictures of this to be sent to Iran, Russia, China, Venezuela, Cuba, Libya, Syria, Pakistan, and those other assholes in the sheets, the Saudis. On the domestic front, poor John did try and reach across the aisle to the opposition in a desperate effort to compromise and to get the Congress to do something. You may not agree with his efforts, but at least he TRIED. For all his efforts, all he got handed to him was his head in a basket. The liberals are pissed at him and the conservatives are pissed at him. Just my kinda guy.

I predict that John will select Senator Joe Lieberman as his running mate. Good choice. I want a JEW whose memory of the Holocaust is still fresh in his mind and who is royally pissed off at all of these towel-headed morons in the Middle East to be the next in line if something should happen to John. Shalom, Vice President Joe. One heartbeat from the Oval Office.

Finally. John McCain knows on a most personal level what it is to suffer horrible torture for years and to see others die, right in front of you, for their love of America. When you ask him about it, he will tell you that what he did was "nothing special". Even more incredibly, he states that ANY American who truly loves his country would do exactly the same as he did in that situation. You and I will have a hard time believing that, but the real point is that John McCain believes that about the "average American", and that, dear friends and neighbors, is why I will cast my one poor ballot for on election day for John McCain -- warts and all.

God Bless America,

The Tigers Slump

Is it really a slump? Well a record of 2 and 9 is something to be worried about. Easily enough they could win 6 in a row then be right back in it. However division games are never easy, especially in the central. The Tribe is struggling as well, so in that regard I'm not too worried.

I'm not one of those who says with all that talent in the lineup it will turn around quickly. Sure you can win games on hitting alone, but defense and pitching is key. Without it, you have nothing. I've never been a Chuck Hernandez fan and I don't think Leyland manages games well. The lineup pretty much has one player who works the pitchers with plate discipline, and that's Carlos Guillen. They only have 4 players hitting at all - rookie Clete Thomas, Inge, Guillen, and Renteria. Now you know I could care less about Inge, but the guy is playing good. You are hanging your hopes on a rookie player in Thomas? The guns need to start producing daily.

Our starters need to go 7 innings or we are done. We have no bullpen worth talking about, and it's going to be a long summer. The hitters need to help the pitchers, it's that simple. Work the pitch counts, work the pitch counts. Get those opposing starters out there, and hammer the bullpen.

Yeah I'm worried.

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 41108

1. Urinal Talking. Guys you know what I'm talking about. You are at a urinal in the rest room minding your own business, when a coworker, or stranger stands at the one next to you. Inevitably they start talking to you "Hey man how's is going?...Hey man what's up?...Hey how you doing?...Man I can't believe it's finally Friday". Are you freaking kidding me? Shut up! I don't want to talk to you, especially small talk. I don't want to be in there as it is, and I don't want to talk to you. What is wrong with these people? I'm assuming they can't handle the uncomfortable silence or they are just clueless. So when you go to the rest room, shut up. The only exception is when you are smashed out of your mind, and you have to talk loud to make sure your buddies didn't leave you in there alone. Then it's also OK to use your line of "man this water is cold, and deep!". Standard Protocol.

2. Today I was called a political nut job. That makes me very happy. I'm assuming it's for my love of liberty and freedom, and my disdain for mccain-obama-clintax. Naturally most people don't like politics or talking about it. I can understand where they are coming from because it's pretty boring. I personally don't care to talk about election strategies or bully pulpits whims myself. Most if not all politicians make me ill just by the very sight of them. Conyers, Dingle, Pelosi, Levin, Kennedy make me want to vomit profusely. I'm more concerned about the issues at hand and their importance more so than the politicians who can't think for themselves. What one has to realize though is everything is politics. Negotiation, promises, speaking, the art of it all is everywhere in all that you do. You are in fact a politician, even if you don't recognize it. Oddly enough another person said I was a politician because I ignore important topics at hand and move on to the next. Did you see that tornado today in western Illinois?

4. My friend is up in arms that there are no women priests in the Catholic Church. I really don't care. I never cared and I never will. Because it DOESN'T matter. I'd rather talk about God existing vs God not existing, then watching people squabble about one religion to the next.

3. I walk a mile a day at lunch. It's not much, but it's something. Try walking a mile in my shoes why don't ya.

6. I'm painting some rooms in my house. I don't like to paint. The rolling and the brushing is fine. What I don't like is the clean up, or the set up. Cleaning a roller is just plain hell. Does anything take longer than that? I used to find it therapeutic, now I find that I can't get it done quick enough. I don't have the patience for it. In fact I can't stand writing about it, so I'll stop. Writing about it is like watching paint dry.

[Today's blog is brought to you by the word Deflection, and by the number 149]

5. I'm still on my quest for the perfect pizza. Where is it? Who has it? Tell me.
Pizza Hut, Hungry Howies, Jet's, Pizza Uno, Taormina's, Dominos, Tombstone, Palermo's, California Pizza, Little Caesers, Stouffers, Benny's, Papa Romanos???? Take me to the best pizza now.

7. I'm very embarrassed to say that I don't know the Velvet Underground. What a great band! Sure I've heard of Lou Reed and John Cale, but the Underground is essentially new to me. I mean like in the last year or so. And here I thought I was a certified music snob, and yet I didn't know about these guys. I even produced radio shows in college too. What a low blow to the music self esteem. Oh and check out The Kooks. They aren't bad, not great, but not too bad.

8. Did you hear about the former 10 million dollar lottery winner who is now on welfare? He put his money in bad investments and they all failed. People, if you win the lottery just live off the interest. Put the money in some cd's and just sit tight. Get yourself a nice house, put money away for the kids college, buy a nice toy or two. If I won, I'd buy the Ferrari I've always wanted and some more baseball cards. I'd save the rest, pay off some bills, and see which one of you really wants to be my friend. Ferrari's are chick magnets, so I've heard.

9. Oh and back to the urinal stuff. There's an older gentleman at work who stands at the urinal leaning way to his right. As if he's a big tea pot or something. So if walk in and he's there, he's essentially taking up two spots! What do you do? You can't say excuse me, you don't want his shoulder touching yours. I've walked out twice when seeing him there. Another guy...yep, you guessed it. Stands at the urinal with his pants all the way down. You walk in, and you see his rear end glowing like a jack-o-lantern on Halloween. What do you do? You walk right out as fast as you can. I'm getting stressed out just going to the rest room at work. I gotta find a tree outside instead.

10. I need to know. I need to know, is there a difference really between mind, body, and spirit? I tend to think they are not separate, and really are just one...the sum of all that is you. Chemicals, cells, atoms, and energy. I say I need to know. Those seeking harmony between the three - are they on a wild goose chase of LaLaLand or on to something concrete towards the road of personal salvation?

Life's Golden Rules -

Life's Golden Rules - by Dude Furious


Life’s Golden Rules

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
(...but know that they're always going to expect that from you and
that eventually they will take you for granted.)

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
(...but eventually you'll want to pierce your ear drum with an ice
pick.)

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all
you want.
(You'll have to save your cash so that your kids will still visit you
when you are in a home, so you'll have trouble believing them when
they say they love you. Don't fall asleep too long or they may
think you're dead and pull the plug.)

FOUR. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
(Except when you're just trying to get sex. Mean it when you are
talking to your dog.)

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
(This makes for good practice when you have to take a lie detector
test.)

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
(It shouldn't take me that long to change my mind.)

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
(Especially when you're at a strip club.)

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams
don't have much.
(Laugh behind their back. When they tell you their dreams you realize
just how little they have.)

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
only way to live life completely.
(You're talking about the Detroit Lions again, aren't you?)

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
(...but hair pulling and eye ball scratching is allowed.)

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
(...judge them on their looks that they inherited from their
relatives.)

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
(...because you may need to explain to your wife why you smell like
your mistress.)

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,
smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
(...and then tell them an outrageous lie that will torment their
ability to keep a secret.)

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
great risk.
(...but in the end the herpes aren't that big a deal.)

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
(...and then say "Cover your mouth dumbass.)

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
(...that next time you cheat.)

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; Responsibility for all your actions.
(...and don't forget the forth "R" for Revolver, something that gets
you respect from others.)

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
(...but if he owes you $50 and he still hasn't paid you back in a
year, slash his tires.)

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
steps to correct it.
(Always blame the guy with the accent who works two cubes down from
you.)

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
your voice.
(...Very calmly and cheerfully tell the telemarketer that you'd like
to gut him like a fish...this will freak him out.)

TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.
(I can remember masturbating like it was just yesterday.)

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 4908

I've become a statistic and I'm not happy about it. I'm one of those people who now spend all week looking at the clock waiting for the weekend to happen. I'm so disappointed in myself. I used to be quite proud of myself to not care about the weekend coming, because I'd be ok with the day at hand. Now I see no way around it. I like my job and the people I work with...but the daily routine has gotten to me. Vacations and days off never seem to change that.



When I eat meatloaf I put ketchup on it. I've been called weird for doing this. I thought this was standard stuff? I'm not trying to kill the meatloaf, just add to it.

Noni Juice?

[Today's blog is brought to you by the number 144, and the word goofball]

I've switched from vitamin pills to liquid vitamins at the suggestion of many of you who have written my offline. 10% of hard pills get digested, while up to 90% of liquid vitamins get digested into the system. No brainer here.

It's that time of year for the next few weeks where hockey is on pretty much every night on TV. Good hockey! Playoff hockey! You can't beat playoff hockey. The atmosphere of the arena, the checking, the defensive play. The goaltending is usually outstanding as well. I love playoff hockey, I could care less about the regular season any more. There is nothing like a third overtime in a game 7. Oh Baby! Do I think the Red Wings can do it? I think they may go 2 rounds, after that they'll be lucky. I know they rocked during the season, but again that doesn't matter.

I remember growing up that being linked to Detroit was somehow a badge of honor. It meant you were tough. It meant no one messed with you and your car. Now it's a scarlet letter, an embarrassment worn not-so-proudly. The city is a joke, and essentially the culmination of many corrupt years. Corrupt citizens, city council, and now the mayor's office represent what the city is all about. It's a dead city, who hangs it's hopes solely on local TV bandwagoning and the success of their sports teams. Is there any other city in America like Detroit? I've been around, and Flint and Pontiac come close at least a bit close. What a hopeless cesspool of blight and despair.

I chipped my tooth on a piece of bread. I'm thinking my calcium intake must be low.

People the Electoral College is brilliant in design. We do not need to get away with it. Removal of it will make NY and LA the deciding factors for national policy. Do you really want that to happen? Never let mob rule, let the common man have a voice. The system is not out of date, it's perfect. Thomas Jefferson and company were real men of genius. Don't let anyone talk you out of supporting the electoral college. It does not impede the independent candidates, nor does modern day technology address what this was intended for.

If a woman touches your arm when she talks to you, what does that mean?

At last count I was at 42,000 photos taken with my 2 digital cameras in the last 4 years. Say Cheese!

I saw this quote "Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option". What does this really mean? Isn't everyone an option when you come right down to it? Or is this quote suggesting that equal times has to be met or the situation is at risk?

The Body Speaks

Jesse Ventura making sense again. What a nut!

Sports: The Ghost of Bill Buckner

Bill Buckner threw out the first pitch today at the Red Sox home opener, the game was not nationally televised, so only red sox fans and fans with the baseball package saw it. There were about 20 other things that people should have blamed for the Sox losing the 86 world series than Bill. The reason why Buckner is the poster boy for the series is because that had never happened before in that fashion.



From 1986

Sparty On

College
Crazy
Party
Keggers

Yeah I get it. I don't get tear gas, burning cars, throwing things at cops, and causing chaos because you think you have a right to do so.

52 arrests at MSU
http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080406/NEWS06/80406024

Not surprised though

SPARTY ON!!

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 4708

My friend has Aeroacrophobia. The fear of high opened spaces. I have no real fears like this I don't think. I mean I'm afraid of the normal stuff like drowning, getting shot, marriage, losing my job. But stuff like this, I think it just in your head. I wouldn't be surprised if my friend is just afraid of something bigger that is represented by this fear instead. I'd like a shrink to chime in here.

I've discovered the delicious taste of garlic stuffed olives. A great way to keep people away as well. One a day keeps a coworker away.

So I've been on the People You See In Hell website (pysih.com) because the mother of the drunk driver that killed my friends is on a mission to defend that her son should not be called a murderer. She gets in my face because she says I am not family, yet the fact is she would know family if it bit her in the arse. She's an enabler and still can't see that. I understand semantics, I understand proper definitions. But the truth of the matter is, she needs to get a clue and do something productive, to really at least attempt to amend what her son has done. I have no hope she will.

My Detroit Tigers are 0 and 6. I'm adamant that games in April do matter. Making up 10 games in the standings is hard to do. As the season progresses injuries become more of a factor and pitchers get in their grooves. It really matters. No it's not the end, but it sure feels like panic time.

[Today's blog is brought to you by the number 149 and the letter G]

I was a fan of Charlton Heston. He's just one of those actor gods along way John Wayne, Marlon Brando, Gregory Peck, Jimmy Stewart, and Henry Fonda. The last of the classic best.

Details matter.

More than 400 children, mostly girls in pioneer dresses, were swept into state custody from a polygamist sect in what authorities described Monday as the largest child welfare operation in Texas history. How can anyone not know this was going on? People wake up.

Do taking vitamins really work? I've heard that they do and that they don't. Which is it? Is this another claim of something that they may help your health? I hate the word MAY. I want absolutes for once when it comes to this stuff. Hook a brotha up.

To my friends and family on here that are having a rough time with health, or the health of their loved ones. Please know I'm thinking about you, but I know that really doesn't help things or make it that much better. Wish I could help more.

I haven't been to a movie in about 3 years. Holy Cow! I blog too much apparently.

Have you ever loved someone (not your child) unconditionally? Is this even possible? If so what would be the point of it? Do you ultimately compromise your principles or give in to just being loyal all in the name of love? Or it is just something deeper which is just a part of your being and soul? Can you really just love someone completely and totally no matter what they feel about you?

A.D.D. Rumblings No. 4208

1)I'm still writing towards my book. When you buy it, I will sign it personally for you. Don't ask about it, just put $15 aside now. Thank you.

2)Michigan Democratic Senator Debbie Stabenow's (aka Stab-us-now)husband was busted in a prostitution ring for getting it on with a hooker. Two things come to mind: The first being what a waste of time and money. When there are real criminals out there hurting children, or robbing old people...the police are forced to waste resources on someone who wants to have sex by choice. Legalize prositution. It's gross, but so what. The second point is I don't blame him!

3)There's something wrong with me when I go shopping. It doesnt matter what kind of store, I just become lost as soon as I walk in. I walk around in a daze, and I'm just trying to get out of there as fast as possible. I do look at things, but then I look at things I have no interest in. Today I went looking for a baseball glove, I walked out with a pair of shorts and spent time looking at Dr. Seuss books. It's like I become rain man or something..Kmart...Kmart...Kmart. Clark Kent walked into a phone booth and became Superman. I walk into a store and become Stupid Man.

5)I'm still checking out the possibility of seeing at least one game at Yankee Stadium.

[Today's blog is brought to you by the word FICKLE, and by the number 316]

4)There is nothing worse than people who will not accept the truth. They will only accept their interpreatoin of the truth. Can there be anything more frustrating than to have to deal with such people and nonsense? People who make stories up, or support gossip as truth. I used to think people like this were just dumb. Now, they are just evil. Plain friggin evil. They choose to decide what is the truth, and they choose to follow things based on whims and accusations. I'm livid when my friends get attacked by moronic people who have no lives and nothing better to do with their time.

7)I melted a bunch of chocolate today, then sliced bananas it. Then froze it. Instant pudding with bananas. Come summer...with a scoop of ice cream - instant bananas fosters. Not as good as Trader Joe's Tiramisu...but it works. Are you with me here?

6)My favorite show on TV overall is Baseball Tonight. From April through October nightly it is next to me like a loyal dog. I still can't figure out why seeing a home run highlight still is so cool, after seeing thousands of them in my life time.

8)Just when you think the world is crazy, along comes some third graders who have plotted to kill their teacher. Plotted as much to even have a clean up crew. What?! What is this Goodfellas? Are you kidding me? And to the nutjob lady who was mauled by cheetahs at a Florida zoo...DUH! When you play with fire you will get burnt.

9)Why is it you can hurt those close to you with words easily, but take the effort to be polite and nice to those you dont know. All in hopes that you don't offend or hurt the person you hardly know. Is it because you can get away with it towards a loved one or friend, whereas you don't know the consequences of the stranger? Or is it you can be yourself more with the loved one...yet why would you be that way towards a loved one in the first place. Seems a bit backwards ya know.

10)Hookey Ideas please. I need ideas to play hookey, that don't include golf, shopping, or sleeping.

Truth: I'm Getting Married!!!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.


This is what I posted on myspace if you didnt see it:

Good news I'm getting Married!!

APRIL FOOLS!!!
(what are you f**kin nuts?!)



Response from the peanut gallery:

lol really i was going to say!

Damn i should have used that one!!!!! Have a great day

LOL...good one!

I totally knew you were kidding... and where'd you hear about me f**kin nuts? That's personal.

HAHAHA! I knew better!

You almost made me cry!! haha April Fools

You crack me up! I really fell for that shit!!

I Was Expecting you to do something like that today!!!

I was like!!!! What!?!?!?!?

lol good one ,I was about to say congrats.

Now that was funny!!

You made me look! LOL

You got me, I freaked out(: Good Night Dino, Good One!

well i know yah joking cuz i didn't hear you ask me...hehe

Glad to hear you are somewhat sane!

got me! so did my kid, he told me he was going to be a dad, the s$%thead!

That's great. You did have me fooled for a minute there. I was going to send you a message telling you that you have lost your mind and need to seek therapy. lol. Talk to you later.

LOL!!!! Had me there!

and I'm carrying your baby!

OOOOOOMYYYY GODDDD....you rotten thing you! you got me, I admit it, I fell for it completely and clicked on this so fast to read!!!! Funny man Dino...funny!

31.9%

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Are you freaking kidding me?

Just 31.9 percent of Detroit students graduate in four years, according to the first major study in Michigan conducted using a method now mandated by the federal government.