Chicks - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

This is a post from my friend Theresa. I've never met Theresa, but we are online pals, and I think she is pretty cool (for a chick anyways). She's given me permission to post one of your blogs, and I hope you enjoy it.


They say that breaking up is hard to do, now I know, know that it's true......

Actually I have known this since 1982. All of my romantic relationships, good and bad, have something in common. They all ended. The why's and how's are many, but the end result the same. Sometimes it's my fault, sometimes it's his, and sometimes there's no blame to be found. But over time I have learned to speak the language of break-up.

I usually get variations of the "You're a nice girl but....." break-up. Other break-ups in this catagory include "You're too good for me", "I will only hurt you" and the all-time winner "I love you and everything about you, but I'm not 'in love' with you". I have even had a man tell me that there was nothing about me that he didn't love, but he wasn't in love with me.

But all of these mean the same thing: "You have too much self-esteem to put up with my crap. I need someone who will never think they can do any better than me." Often this is tempered with a little "I still want you in my life" which translates to "I have someone else in mind but would like to keep you as a back-up."
I'm not just making this stuff up, I promise. I have analyzed past relationships extensively and have even taken a good look at the "new girlfriend". And usually the breaker will have someone in mind, even if they deny it. Usually the new girlfriend is someone that would bring out my point-and-laugh instinct.

Some people prefer the silent break-up. They just disappear, stop calling, stop returning messages, and look the other way if they see you at the mall. This is more common in short, casual relationships. But I have known people who have ended long term relationships this way. In most cases I would say this is cruel and deprives the one left of any real closure. But there are relationships that are so bad that there is nothing that can or should be said. Sometimes we just have to walk away and never look back.

Here are a few more translations for those who haven't learned the language:
You don't love me anymore: I don't love you anymore.
I don't know who you are anymore: I don't care who you are anymore.
Our lives are too different: My family and friends hate you.
I'll call you sometime next week: I'm already engaged to someone else.
I need space: You annoy me.
I need time and space: You REALLY annoy me.
I'm just not feeling it: I'm feeling up somebody else.
I don't want to hurt you: Please don't be mad, because if the new person doesn't work out, I'll be back expecting forgiveness.
We've grown apart: I've lost weight/gotten a better job/drive a better car and think I can get somebody better looking now.
I prefer the direct approach myself. My favorite break-up line is "If you come back here, I'll shoot you."