H O C K E Y D I N O

So a friend comes up to me and says "Hey I need to tell you about this movie I saw on the Hallmark channel last night.."

[Insert RECORD SKIPPING sound effect now]

I said "The Hallmark Channel?
He said "Yes it was pretty good...it was about this guy with.."
I said "STOP"
He said "Why? There was this hot chick in there, and I was thinking he was like you.."
I said "Just stop right now.  The Hallmark Channel?"
He said "Yes there are good movies on there"
I said  "I suppose you watch The Lifetime Channel too?"
He said "Yeah sometimes.  I watch it with my wife".
I said "No I missed it, I WAS WATCHING FOOTBALL YESTERDAY"
He said "I can't watch football.  I hate watching football. The Lions ruin it for me, there are not teams I like to watch "
I just shook my head.
He asked "What teams do you watch and root for?"
I said "Every team except the Lions"
He said "No way."

I didn't want to ask him if he watched The View, Oprah, and taped everything on the Oxygen channel.  I was too afraid to find out. I know I know...you are all upset with me that he's my friend. Well I do have a heart for the clueless, mind you. So cut me some slack.

I understand sometimes you'll watch a chick flick so she can get off your back for buying that new power drill. I get it.  I understand you watch it, to make her happy. I get it. You can deal with looking at Julia Roberts while your wife drools over Hugh Grant. I get it. But are you really going to openly admit to watching The Hallmark channel or Lifetime?  Who in their right mind does this?

For one, why are you watching these mind numbing channels?  Secondly why admit such a thing? I swear there's a generation that's lost out there and I don't like it. I'm having a hard time not smacking him upside the head.  The poor fellow.  I think he's too far lost to be saved.

If there are any of you out there that need help from this sort of thing, please come to me before it's too late.  Ladies if you have a man that watches Hallmark with you, well I'm sorry for your loss. No worries, there are real men out there..you just have to look.