
Truth: Inner Struggle
Brilliant...funny...smart....good looking... ok that's enough about what you think about me, let's talk about what I think about me. Nah that's ok...but here's my deal lately.
I have this habit of beating myself up. The thing is, I don't know if I am beating myself up really or if I am just going through the exercise of identifying and justifying my actions.
I often say:
I'm not thinking
Gotta think
That was stupid
I'm not thinking clearly
What am I doing?
That was dumb
I'm so stupid
What the hell am I doing?
I cant believe I just did that
What the hell is going on?
Why did I do that?
Get my drift here? I'm not sure if it's a bad thing to keep saying these things out of habit, or if they are good things making myself recognize that I should be better, I can be better, I have to be better. What do you think?
I have this habit of beating myself up. The thing is, I don't know if I am beating myself up really or if I am just going through the exercise of identifying and justifying my actions.
I often say:
I'm not thinking
Gotta think
That was stupid
I'm not thinking clearly
What am I doing?
That was dumb
I'm so stupid
What the hell am I doing?
I cant believe I just did that
What the hell is going on?
Why did I do that?
Get my drift here? I'm not sure if it's a bad thing to keep saying these things out of habit, or if they are good things making myself recognize that I should be better, I can be better, I have to be better. What do you think?

