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Truth: Inner Struggle

Posted on Saturday, January 23, 2010 View Comments
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Brilliant...funny...smart....good looking...  ok that's enough about what you think about me, let's talk about what I think about me.   Nah that's ok...but here's my deal lately.

I have this habit of beating myself up.  The thing is, I don't know if I am beating myself up really or if I am just going through the exercise of identifying and justifying my actions. 

I often say:

I'm not thinking
Gotta think
That was stupid
I'm not thinking clearly
What am I doing? 
That was dumb
I'm so stupid
What the hell am I doing?
I cant believe I just did that
What the hell is going on?
Why did I do that?

Get my drift here?  I'm not sure if it's a bad thing to keep saying these things out of habit, or if they are good things making myself recognize that I should be better, I can be better, I have to be better. What do you think?


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