Truth - My Facebook Rules Part I

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

1. If you have no life and there is some sick need to play games like Farmville, YoVille, or Mafia Wars...please don't invite me. I don't care and I don't want to know.

2. If you have no life and you play Facebook games, please turn off your notifications. All you are doing is looking like an idiot and spamming the world. The terrorists are watching you. Think about that while you stock your online aquarium with new angelfish.

3. Why do you read horoscopes? It's a complete waste of time. They are not fun, amusing, or remotely interesting. To see that you read your horoscope makes me know you have a hard time with reality. Noted.

5. Who are you? Don't ask me who I am when I am on your friends list. Who cares!

4. When you send your girlfriend a picture of a hot guy through some application, or post it on her wall, it
just shows you have no class. A milkahwat?

6. LOL, LMAO, WTH, ROFLMAO, TTYL, OMG - just stop it. Enough already. You look like an idiot. Don't waste my time. These are banned from my page. A little piece of me dies every time I see one of these.

7. Just Kidding! - Do you really need to say you are just kidding? Come on...seriously.

8. Don't tag me to events. If you want me to promote your event, I will. But let's be realistic. I am not going to promote a meet up of Dungeons and Dragons gamers. I'm not going to promote a rally for moronic Obama supporters either.

9. Don't reply to emails with OK or THANKS or anything that will waste my time by reading it. You can thank me by not doing this.

10. Don't write on my wall that you are wishing me a Happy Tuesday. I don't care, I never cared, and I will never care. You shouldn't care either. Go make some money and help the economy.

11. If I pose a question of the day, please don't reply with YES or NO or I AGREE. You are a troll when you do this.

12. If I pose a question of the day, please understand others are on the list. You aren't responding to just me, you are responding publically. Be smart.

13. If you are a guy, why are you posting pictures of scantily clad men on women's sites? I'm not getting this logic. You want them to like you or want you when you dangle another carrot to them besides yours? This is looney tunes.

14. Gifts - Stop sending virtual gifts to everyone. We don't need virtual flowers. We need real flowers so the world can be a better place. Virtual flowers do nothing for anyone except the application developer who steals your application so he can hack your account.

15. Stop complaining about Facebook changes. WHO CARES?! It's free. You get what you pay for.

16. Must you post on your status updates that you are going to bed? Must you wish everyone a good night? Why? Why? Why?

17. Open ended status updates: I'm so mad! I can't believe it. Unreal. Uh Oh. I'm Speechless. I'm so happy!!!! These are all attention seeking status updates. I mean, you want attention...fine. But get to the point already! Don't make us beg for it.

18. Fake profiles - how annoying to be talking to someone you think is a woman, then find out from a friend that it's really a man. You people are scum of the earth, and need to be arrested for stupidity and being a nut job.

19. Why do you post your phone number on Facebook? Dumb much?

20. Why do you list all your kids' names on Facebook and their ages? Parent much?

21. Why do you always post where you are so that criminals know you aren't home? Get robbed much?

22. Poke You - Poking doesn't mean I like you, want you, or love you. It just means hey or hi.

23. Guy Poke - I feel weird when guys Poke me. Stop it. Saying hey or hi is implied.

24. Chick Poke - When a girl pokes me she either likes me, wants me, or loves me. I'm ok with this.

25.Forever - Everything you type or post on the internet stays there forever. Think.

Have I missed any? Please send suggestions for Part II as this series grows. Don't forget to check out the profiles of facebookers by Intense Auburn - it's pretty spot on.