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Ham Pineapple Anchovies Mushroom Tomato Sausage Bacon

I recently began dating a girl and things have been going really well UNTIL we friended each other on Facebook. Now she asks me questions about every girl that posts on my wall and grills me about pictures in my photo album. I like her, but I'm not cool with the interrogation. What to do?

Signed,

Befuddled


__________________________________________

Dear Befuddled.  Your woman is trying to see where she stands in your world of chicks.  Is she number one, and is she going to have any competition?  The questions...well she's just peeing on her new territory.  She's making the rules.  Making you accountable for your actions.  She wants to see if you can be tamed and loyal. Don't blame her, it's natural.  But she's gotta know, you are the man and chicks dig you.  She likes you right? She shouldnt be shocked you are the Fonz of Facebook.  It happens.  It's up to you if you are going to have your spined ripped out of you, or if you are going to hold your ground... and be a gentleman and let her know she's your number one.  Trust. If you can't do this...tell her to take a hike, then spend the rest of your dating life thinking the next one is going to be any different.  Rinse, lather, repeat.

Love,

Dino

So I had to go the hospital to get some things checked out. Xray stuff. They put dye in your veins and go to town taking xrays like crazy. I think I received enough radiation that the president of Iran wants to invite me over for dinner.


Anyways so I'm wearing a hospital gown. First off, who the hell designed these things? It has to be without question the stupidest piece of clothing known to man. I must also say, the x-ray table is like laying on a block of ice too. Who turned down the heat?

So the (female) X-Ray technician says to me " Sir we have a working relationship with the local university and they will be here to observe and assist. Is that ok with you?" I said sure.

Four young females walk in the room.

[record skips]

Now somewhere in my life I'm sure I dreamed about this same situation happening, but it was a bit different as you can well imagine. I start swearing to myself. Then I ask myself does this gown make me look fat?

So the technician is tossing and turning me over like a pancake on a hot grill. I didn't hear any screaming or moaning from the observatory group. That was ok by me. I did try to listen for any laughter, because then we would have had a problem. Then it was more turning left, right, upside down. It was like Emeril making an pizza in the air. BAM!  I think she was a member of the East German Swim Team 1976.

Then I had to get more things checked out in another room. What? Yes of course a female nurse and female doctor are there waiting for me for Part II of the show. Latex gloves clash with my gown.

[record skips]



I'm sketching a snuggie version of a hospital gown for my next invention.

ESPN's Tony Kornheiser was suspended for two weeks because he commented on fellow sportscaster Hannah Storm's outfit.  He said it was horrifying what she was wearing.  That her red gogo boots looked like she was wrapped in sausage casing.

Here's what I don't get.  They pay this guy to put down people, call them out, criticize them all of the time.  It's what he does for a living (aside from Monday Night Football).  Yet if he does that to a coworker on the air, then they pull out the Political Correct Card.  Lame.

I can't say I've noticed how she dresses, but in this case I see nothing bad or wrong with how she dresses.  I could care less what she wears.  Honestly watching ESPN has become so boring to me...I wouldnt have thought twice if I saw her or not.  I just don't really care.

I do find it funny that what she wears seems to matter to many, not to mention what others say about it - including her coworkers.   The whole scenario is just weird. I gotta thing the talk around the water cooler in Bristol has to be a bit weird.

He said she was tool old (47) to dress like that.  I don't know, does that really matter?  Yeah I suppose when you see an older chick and she dresses a bit suggestive you might say something. I don't care.

Ron Paul won the the CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) straw poll with a 31% standing. Unelectible Romney got 22% and cuckoo for cocoa puffs Palin got 7% (I like her don't worry, I just don't get her).

What does it mean? Well MSNBC and Fox News were quick to say that the last winners of the poll didnt win the nomination. They were also quick to say that the voters were all young college types. Actually the age of the voters was higher than any other poll they've had, and the younger aged voters didnt turn out like they normally do.  They also had more voters this time.

What does it mean? It means people are starting to see that his message of fiscal conservatism based on real money makes sense. The recession in the economy which he easily predicted came true.
Ron Paul indicated that the GOP and it's leaders need to listen to the young people who are sick and tired of being lied to, and policies put in place that wreck the country.

This where he is wrong: It's not just the young; it's old and middle aged who are sick of it all! I'm sick of it all. Aren't you sick of it? The increasing size of government, inflation, the silly bills that no one understands, the lies.

Politically and economoically our congress has sold us down the river. Let's hope the message gets to the leaders of the GOP and they actually do some real conservative soapboxing on the campaign trail. Let's hope they don't just pay lip service to Tea Partiers so they can ride the wave. Let's hope the RHINOS like Brown from Taxachussets get a clue.
The Revolution is alive and well. You either get it, or you don't.


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February 22, 1980. 

I was 13 years old.  I came home from school...I was anxious to see THE hockey game. The Olympic hockey game between U.S.S.R. and USA. 
I watched every game intently in those Olympics.  After school every day I'd go in the basement with my Bryan Trottier hockey stick, and shoot goals on my brother.  He had foam pads, and a waffle made out of card board.  We had a blue puck. I still have that blue puck.  I was Mike Eruzione, and he was Jim Craig. Then we would switch back and fourth.

However on that one day, the local tv news guy revealed the outcome of the game before it started.  The game was tape delayed, and he ruined it.  I remember my mom telling me the U.S had beaten the Soviets. I was so excited still. I couldn't wait to watch the game.  Mostly because I couldnt believe it.  The U.S. beat evil Russia?

How could they beat Russia? They had the best goalie in the world in Tretriak.  They had Kharlamov, Fetisov, Balderis.  They were the best...mean..big..evil.   The carried the puck around like it was on a string. I just remember they were the Red Army. The communists. They were the big red machine.  I just remember their faces. They all looked the same, like evil robots who never showed any emotion. They scared the hell out of me.  They still do.

Watching the game was not anti-climatic. It was just as exciting even knowing the outcome. I was blown away, happy as hell watching it.  You know the rest of the story...the outcome..the details of the game..the gold medal. The importance of it all. 

When I see pictures, video, the movies, of that 1980 team...I still get chills.  It still takes me back to a time when life was great.  It's funny because I remember the economy being bad, long gas lines, the cold war, the Iran hostage situation.  Yet this was my youth.  The time of my life. Those things didnt seem to matter to me. Hockey mattered to me.

While it was the greatest sporting victory ever, it also was filled with symbolism due to the times.  Alot can be learned from that event.  Times were tough, yet that game and team united a nation.  Times are tough now, and what will unite this nation?  I don't think it will take a hockey game to do so.  I think it will take for me realizing the innocence of my youth and holding on to it.  Capturing it all over again.  It won't unite a nation, but it will be how I deal with things.

The recession, stress, and a zillion other things still are going to happen.  I just have to embrace those moments that transcend that. Simple things like believing and knowing you can win.  Simple things like a blue puck.

God I love that puck

Today's guest post is by the Hairy German himself of the Herman Letters.  The Herman Letters is collection of complaints and concerns, but more so truth aimed at those in the world who need to answer to their actions. He is the ultimate consumer advocate.

Dear Senator Shelby,

I work in the Big 3. I wrote you a year ago, thanking you for the tough love that you gave the Big 3. At the time, you said:

"We don't need government - governmental subsidies for manufacturing in this country. It's the French model, it's the wrong road. We will pay for it. The average American taxpayer is going to pay dearly for this, if I'm not wrong."

That’s fine. You’re entitled to your opinion, even if most economists forecasted a massive nationwide ripple effect to all of the interwoven industries if the Big 3 indeed fails. Many people agree with you, and as an employee of the Big 3, I hope we can prove them wrong. I know GM and Chrysler intend to pay back their loans. Unlike some financial institutions who use their aid to name ballparks and hand out bonuses, and then thank the folks who bailed them out by raising their interest rates.

I guess I have a question then. When it stops raining, and Alabama farmers can’t grow Alabama crops, who steps in to help them fund on-farm reservoirs? Is that also part of the French model? Do they repay that?

The real reason I write, is the recent unfortunate incidents and resultant recalls of Toyota vehicles. 2.3 Million US vehicles for sticky gas pedals. 5.3 Million for gas pedal entrapments. 147,500 hybrids with momentary brake failures. 7300 for a potential brake fluid leak that could lead to longer stopping distances. 37 fatalities.

I know Alabama is tied to the automotive industry, probably more so than to the Big 3. You were quite vocal when the Big 3 was down. I can imagine you have even more to say about Toyota. Do you have any nuggets for us? Sound bytes? Quotes?

• Anything about how Toyota knew about the floor mat issue back in 2004?
• Anything about your boy Governor Bob Riley’s love note? The one where he questioned the aggressive media coverage that Toyota is receiving and also pointed out how Toyota haven’t laid off a single employee during this. Because with 37 fatalities, employment is where we should be focusing.
• Anything about the new one: loose steering at highway speeds on Corollas?

I wouldn’t wish Toyota’s recent woes on anyone--neither manufacturer, nor customer. It just seems to me, you’ve been awfully quiet throughout this ordeal. When GM and Chrysler were down, we couldn’t get away from you on TV, and in print. Now, it’s like you’ve hidden. Come on out. Was there any mismanagement by Toyota? Speak your mind. Something like: “All of these safety issues are some real B.S. We need to do better.”


I just think you need to leave your ass print on your own people, just as you did on Detroit.

Sincerely,



Mr. Herman

P.S. – I drove through your fine state last week to get to Florida. Keep up the good work!


You can also read the Herman Letters on Facebook

EMAIL 101

I am still surprised at this day and age how many people don't know how to email properly. It drives me absolutely insane when I get emails that do not adhere to the simple basic principles of common ettiquette.


So let's take the next few minutes to go over some small things in order to make the world a better place. Not to mention, it will save me from jumping off a ledge.  If you want me to jump off a ledge, then ignore the rest of this message.

1. When someone writes only you, do not cc anyone else on the response. They wrote YOU alone for a reason.  Do not add people to the thread. By doing so you throw them under the boss, violate their trust, and make them look like a friggin idiot. There are exceptions, like when you joke around with a friend but that's few and far between.

2. When you are included in a thread of more than one person, please click REPLY TO ALL, unless the messenger clearly indicates not to, or the message doesn't need to be sent to everyone. Get a clue!

3. Trim your friggin posts. When you forward an email remove all the email addresses and header info listed below. Chain letters, jokes get ignored if you don't do this. If I get something that has other email addresses listed at the top...I don't even open the email. I just don't have time to scroll down time and time again. Delete.

5. If you are going to forward email, you better make sure the person you are forwarding it to can be trusted to not say anything or forward it.  You need to ask yourself, who do you trust? That's what I thought.

4. The Pipsqueak. This is the person who must copy his boss and their boss on every email in order to make themelves heard and be seen.  They also think what they write is super important and should be heard.  Dear Pipsqueak - if you can't handle your work without your boss knowing, you deserve to be fired.  You think your boss doesn't have more important things to do? Shut up and go make some money for your company weasel.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
6. Turn on your spell check. Use proper grammar and punctuation. Use a confidential legal disclaimer. Get to the point. DON'T WRITE IN ALL CAPS. Check snopes!

7. Please don't forward everyone's signtaure that has been on an email.  How many stupid smiley icons do we need to send around the world over and over?   Just stop it!  You are polluting the planet.  These things add up on storage space somewhere and someone (you eventually) is paying for it.

[This blog is brought to you by the word etiquette and the number 62110]

8. Whenever I open an email that has anything to do with hugging a soldier, cats, or Jesus only loves America...I automatically delete it.  Enough!!!

9.  Times Roman, Verdana, Courier, Arial.  That's pretty much is when it comes to fonts.  Quit using fancy fonts, and different size fonts.  I scream when I see a  green font that's at 72 points.  Unless you are in the fourth grade, stop it.  Stop it  now.  Use 12 point or less. Imagine reading a book like this?  You wouldn't.

10. Read before you hit send.  Think before you reply.  Make an effort.  Make the world a better place by following these simple rules over and over.  Before you know it, the economy will have picked up, suicide rates will have declined, and I may even smile.  It's up to you.

I've been told that I love to argue. Can I argue with that? I guess I will. I don't really like to argue I'm just really good at it. I just like to let you know I'm right. That ticks people off. Why? Because they suck at arguing and can't defend their stance most of the time.


However I'll easily and readily admit that I'm wrrr.. wroo ...wrr...wrroon...when that happens.



Do I really like to argue? Why does one argue?



I find myself arguing when I listen to talk radio with the radio. Actually it's more name calling...like "Mitch you freakin idiot that's not constitutional!.." and stuff like that.



Perhaps I like to debate? No not really. I don't have time for debates nor the energy to argue. I like getting to the point. I like not repeating myself. I like not repeating myself. I like to make sure I am understood. Capiche?



Just listen to me. Trust me, I won't hurt you. Would I lead you astray?



Of course nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrrr..wr..wron..





"There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil." Ayn Rand

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When in church, I've always pictured the alter as a goal and the priest as a goalie. I would skate down the aisle and shoot on the priest. The crucifix was the goal judge.


When driving I have this urge while looking at the car next to me, to tackle the car by the tires. I would get the tires in a headlock to stop the car.

When I was young I would look out the classroom window and imagine gangsters would drive by and shoot out the windows with a tommy gun.

Inside stadiums, I often think a plane is going to crash into the middle of the field.

I always imagine throwing a football 50 yards perfectly into the hands of a double covered wide receiver.

I relive goals I score in hockey over and over for years. I recall some goals I've scored 20 years ago. I think this is Al Bundy like.

I still think I can gun out someone from center field to home plate on a two hop throw. I'm lucky though to make it to the pitchers mound on a roll.

I notice people's ears.

I am jealous of things and animals than can fly. I wish I could fly an airplane or like a bird.

When I walk in any parking lot, I'm full aware there are cameras rolling.

I still don't know why cars can't be made out of rubber. So when there are accidents you can just bounce off each other. I saw an old Bugs Bunny cartoon that had this.

Why can't the inside of an airplane be a big giant capsule that can separate with parachutes and then float?
 
I wonder if people think I write like Larry King when I have these types of posts? I hope not

It's above your head and below your knees!.  

That's something I've said to people who don't understand my attempt at humor from time to time.  Heck, when they don't get the joke, they then look at me even more funny when I say that to them.

My friend Tiny Tim from the town of Makersmart suggested I let you all know about a book called "Anti-Intellectualism In American Life" by Richard Hofstadter's.  I personally have not read the book cover to cover.  It was at one time on my list of books to read.  I have read exerpts and it has been recommended to me by others as well over the years.  From what I know of the book, it basically gives a good look at the American character.  How it is designed and embraces function over form, intelligience over intellect, sweet over soul.   A summary of how being American somehow embraces being ignorant.

Some say the book is dated as it came out in 1962.  I tend to think the premise is spot on.  Look around you and you will see a sea of conformity chomping at the bit for the next shallow purchase and lackadasical whim!

I long for some deep discussion. I crave critical thinking.  Yet I'm guilty of being a slave to the industry that keeps me in the rat race. My outlet, this blog allows me the brief moment in time to get some retrospection.  What it lacks is the response, the in your face comments a friend would make during a game when he says your favorite player sucks. 

I still want to learn. I don't know that I'd be considered an intellectual, nor would I want anyone to know if that were the case.  It's never crossed my mind, and I'll keep it that way.  Ignorant?

We've lost our way.  Learning just to pass tests.  Getting degrees so we can work for other people and follow their rules.  It makes no sense.  It's easy, it's American pie. The levy is dry!

Ideas man...I've got a million of them!

Some very smart people write their ideas on their hand too.

1. I heard a stat the other day where 40% of all relationship breaks-ups are done via text or email. I call that not very efficient. Hopefully we can get them up to 80% by year's end.

2. I like Canada. They are cute. However I've had enough of their national hockey snobbery. It's old, lame, and tiring. Who cares if you invented the game? I won't root for Canada because we never hear the end of it when they win.

3. "I can't cook". Do you know how annoying it is to hear when people say this. What do you mean you can't cook? If you can read, you can cook. Heck for millions of years people cooked even without reading. Anyone who says this is just a lazy fool. What's a cookin snookins?

5. Music holds the secret. To know it can make you strong. It's not just the game of notes, it's the sounds inside your soul. The magic of a melody runs through you like a stream. The notes that play flow through your head like a dream.

4. The doctor says I have high blood pressure and need to reduce my stress levels. I blame you.

6. Sarah Palin has dropped some not so subtle hints that we should bomb Iran. Really? Do we really need to bomb Iran? Come on now. How about finishing the other wars we have going on? How about actually putting people to work? Who picked this person anyways to be the mouthpiece of the GOP? Every time she opens her mouth or reads her hand, I cringe.

7. I think the reason I watch the Food Network so much is because my diet is pretty boring. I have noticed I tend to eat the same meals most every week. I would like to eat more complex and rare things. More fresh and raw Mideastern food Maybe it's my subconscious that's telling me to start expanding my dietary horizons. Don't mess with my couscous.

[ This blog is brought to you by the word lithotripsy and the number 43]

8. With the Toyota fiasco I was wondering where all the congressmen, not to mention the California Florida crowd were to bash Japan? I mean they had no problem bashing the Big 3 when they were down, nor bashing America by buying those cars in droves to begin with. Where are those green tree huggers anyways?

9.For those of you on Google, don't be afraid of BUZZ. Their version of Facebook/Twitter. It's a good thing. It's easy, non intrusive, and you can ignore if you want. I'm not happy with the mobile version, because it reveals your location. However the desktop version is great. I need to buy Google stock. These guys understand IT.

10.I didn't want to see, nor did I need to see the Olympic video footage of the Luge crash where the athlete died. However I've seen it like 10 times. Thanks NBC for being so callous. My friend Buckshot Chris reminds me that the 2 man luge was invented on Brokeback Mountain.
 

Is being immature purely subjective, or is there a line that's crossed to define when a person actually is?

What determines when a person is immature?   Let's say a coworker won't talk to you because they are unhappy with something you did or didnt do.  Does that make them immature?  They give you the silent treatment because they do not want to talk to you about anything.  I'm referring to work related functions mind you. It's their little way of retribution..to get back at you...to make a statement.  Pointless?  Stupid? 

I would tend to say that the person not speaking is immature.  I think it goes without saying that is the case more often than not.  How do you deal with immature people who give you the silent treatment?   Do you acknowledge their behavior or do you just smile and get on your merry way?

If you acknowledge them you are giving them some power.  If you ignore them, you are still giving them a little power...because they are getting what they want to some degree.  It's a power play, a game they play. 

I don't want to deal with these people.  They tick me off.  Am I being immature?

My take on the events at the Olympics.

Alpline Skiiing:
Men's and women's downhill, super giant slalom, giant slalom, slalom and Alpine combined.

- I like all of these events.  Each one is just friggin nuts if you ask me.  I've never skiied, but someday I will.  Once I figure out how to walk down the stairs without tripping, I'm heading for the slopes.  Alberta Tomba where have you gone!

Biathalon:
The Sprint (men: 10 km; women: 7.5 km), the individual (men: 20 km; women: 15 km), the pursuit (men: 12.5 km; women: 10 km), the relay (men: 4x7.5 km; women: 4x6 km), and the mass start (men: 15 km; women: 12.5 km).

- Can you say BORING!

Bobsled:
Four-man race, two-man race and two-woman race.

- I would love to do this.  I think it's cool.  Seems for the most part safe.

Cross-Country Skiing:
Men's sprint, team sprint, 30 km pursuit, 15 km, 50 km and 4x10 km relay; women's sprint, team sprint, 15 km pursuit, 10 km, 30 km (women) and 4x5 km relay.

- Can you say BORING!  I'm sure it's a great workout...but I'd fall asleep doing it, because I fall asleep watching it. 

Curling:
Men's and women's tournaments.

- I still can't figure it out.  Seems simple, but I still don't get it. I want to try this.  I'm also convinced the women could beat the men since they are so good at sweeping with brooms.

Figure Skating:
Men's and women's singles; pairs; and ice dancing

- THIS IS NOT A SPORT.  GET IT OUT OF MY FACE.

Free Style Skiing:
Men's and women's moguls, aerials and skicross

- Pretty cool stuff.  I didnt think I would like this, but I do.  It's rad man.

Ice Hockey:
Men's and women's tournaments.

- Could care less about women's hockey. I find it boring. But men's hockey is outstanding.  I love the skill level. The intensity is great, especially in the medal rounds.

Luge:
Men's and women's singles, men's doubles

- Very cool. Sliding 88 mph on the ice while lying on your back.  That's awesome.  Men's doubles? Not so much fun I don't think. Now coed luge could be interesting!
Nordic combined:
Men's 10 km individual normal hill, 10 km individual large hill and team

- There's a reason why Norway owns this. There's nothing else to do there. I feel the same way when watching it. If there's nothing else to do, I'll watch it.  There's always watching cloud formations as fun,

Short Track Speed Skating:
Men's and women's 500 metres, 1000 metres, 1500 metres; women's 3000 metre relay; and men's 5000 metre relay.

- I like it because it reminds me of roller derby.  Get those elbows out.
Skeleton:
Men's and women's events.

- The luge on your stomach.  Great name. YIKES!

Ski Jumping:
Men's individual large hill, individual small hill and team large hill.

- I could do this, I choose not to. I enjoy watching this.  Who remembers Eddie the Eagle?

Snowboarding:
Men's and women's parallel giant slalom, half-pipe and snowboard cross.

- I can't stand the culture, but I do like watching the sport. It's cool. I prefer slalom over half pipe though.  Half pipe reminds me of skateboarders and they are usually teenagers...who are a waste of time.

Speed Skating:
Men's and women's 500 metres, 1000 metres, 1500 metres, 5000 metres and team pursuit; women's 3000 metres; men's 10000 metres

- It's cool but I'm not a fan of sports that you just race against the clock. I want to see racing against opponents.  Get some checking in this, and we've got something.

Broom Ball:

- Ok this isnt an Olympic sport, but it needs to be.  It's the toughest sport I've ever played.

Here's a playlist for you.  My Valentine's gift to you.  Because you love me. Well some of you do.  The ones that don't please give it to your mom for me.

Is Valentine's really a hallmark holiday? 

What is love?

Why do you love someone, then in a matter of time you want to rip their head of? 

Why do you choose to love someone despite their faults, yet later on those faults are the reason you won't love that person?

Why do people use the word LOVE so much?

Who invented the wor LUV?

Why was Herby a LoveBug?

Is Love all you really need? 

Don't you love it?

Is the greatest gift of all love, or is it a Home Depot gift card?

So many questions, so little time. Inquiring minds might not care.

*********

Hey I was recently a guest blogger on INTENSE AUBURN'S page.  Check it out.  Make sure to sign up for her blog updates via email too.   She offers a very intelligient view on everyday life.  She's pretty smart for a chick I gotta say.

********


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Whenever someone you know dies, it is always different than just any death.  There are different degrees of death.  When you hear a car bomb killed 20 people in Iraq, you might for a second say that sucks.  If you hear someone in town got shot in a robbery you would feel sad maybe.  If you hear a celebrity dies that you love, you'll probably cry.   Then of course when it is someone you know, it hits you differently. 

I'm assuming and generalizing of course.

Attending the funeral of a family friend, one becomes reflective.  For a brief moment you realize and think about all of those things that are important to you in life.  You think about your family, your friends, your "things".  Not the material things, but things like projects, wills, responsibilities. 

When you are young you don't think about these things.  As you get older these things become increasing important.  Material things become less important.  Finances, promises, secrets, all the loose ends.  These are the things I think about when I go to a funeral.  It lasts for a day or two, then I am back in the rat race and put things off.

Death sucks.  Maybe that's why I avoid dealing with it on a day to day basis.
Do you think about death?

Aint no way to live to prepare to die all of the time.

This isnt about Bob Costas - Mike Lupica - Mitch Albom ...the 3 headed east coast sports monster that drives me nuts.  It really even isnt about Yankee lover Bob Costas specifically either.  It's about who sits in the seat of Bob Costas during any Olympic coverage, pre-game, or post-game show.  More often than not it happens to be Bob Costas, but still that's beside the point. 

Heck throw in James Brown, Jim Nance, Chris Berman, or even the late Jim McKay.  It's all the same.  Ad naseum talk about nothing.  It's all the drama.  The side stories.  The stuff that is all special interest.  It's all the little tie ins about this and that, and someone's sick grandma. The karma, the feelings, the neverending saga of changing sports to the Lifetime channel.

This is what I want. This is what I need:

I need the game to start at 1pm.  Not 1:05 or 1:10pm.

I need 15 minutes of injury updates before the game, so I can change my fantasy lineup.

I need scores from around the league during the whole game.

I need scores from other sports.

I don't want a 2 hour pregame show. I don't care about the commericials, I can watch them on youtube or get them shoved down my throat by news shows about showing those same commericials.

I want Bob Costas and every other HOST/ANCHOR to go away. 

I want a play by play person , and a color commentator.

I do not need a side line reporter. 

I don't need some bimbo telling me about the weather in Buffalo. It's cold in Buffalo, we know.

I don't need a half time show or analysis.  It's a waste of time!

I don't want 5 anchors of former players trying to outshine each other in loud suits, and out yell each other for air time.

Am I asking too much?  I think not.

I am at a loss over the fact Sarah Palin was allowed to speak at a Tea Party. What a joke. She has nothing in common with Tea Party folks except for her anti-Obama stance.


This is nothing more than an attempt by the GOP to align themselves with the hype, because they have nothing to go on. The only way they will win is if they point out all the lies and flaws of the current president - thus winning by default.

She is no libertarian. She is no real conservative. She's a big government coporatist neo-con. She offers nothing of value, except she is not Obama.

When she speaks I hear Charlie Brown's teacher talking. She is going to be the death of the republicans in the next election, and Barry will be in for another term. Just what we need, a lame duck president in office again.

Dear Republican Party: You werent invited to this party, get out. And take Miss Alaska with you.
 

I got nothing


I don't know

Nothing

I got thing

I have nothing to add

I have nothing to say

I'm not awake yet

It's too late in the day to think

I dunno

It's not my place to answer

It's too early

I don't have room in my brain to think

I havent had my coffee

I'm too busy to think

I have no idea

I'm too tired to think

I'm not smart enough to answer

I'm not sure

These are the answers I hear everyday. What does that tell me? It tells me ExcuseFest is alive and well. What do you mean you've got nothing...you've got a brain, use it. What are you scared of? Whenever I hear those excuses...I want to stare down that person until they answer me.



What does it take to get some response around here?
 
 
Hey check this out!
 
.
 

"You should show some respect for what other people see and feel, even though it be the exact opposite of what you see and feel."
LUIGI PIRANDELLO, It Is So! (If You Think So)

I'm here, I'm in Dino's house. Look at me! I feel so grown up and all! And thank you to Dino for allowing me to wipe my muddy shoes on his carpet. I promise not to mess the place up. BUT HEY ... LOOKIE! I can play with all his toys! His hockey sticks and Flintstone Dinos! I love what he's done with the place. It's comfy, it's lived in, chicks, sports, and sometimes serious stuff ... but, hold on here, settle down ... for the next few paragraphs, we be playin' the game by MY RULES! This is my house now!

I dug out the above quote by the Sicilian Playwright and Author Luigi Pirandello because it best describes Dino's blog and what he offers his readers, responders and fans. He welcomes opinion differing from his own and respectful debate, which is the health and wealth of a great blogger.

When Dino asked me to write a guest blog, I decided to find something I thought would fit in with some of the other blogs I've seen posted here. One thing came to mind, and it's what is bugging me about our culture today -- what the mainstream media refers to as "the culture war."

Is America really at war with itself? Or is this culture war another fabrication created by the World Wide Federation of Political Wrestling to sell more air time?

In the 1960s and early 70s, America suffered from three brutal assassinations, dozens of massive protests, demonstrations on the lawn of the White House, race riots, an unpopular and unwinnable war, a corrupt President who had an enemy's list, a corrupt FBI director who had an enemy's list, drug infested cities, hate crimes, the breakdown of the family unit, the corrosion of values ... now THAT was a culture war.

Today what we have is not a culture war, but an "Insult War." And it's incessant, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, non-stop, cable, network, internet. Keith Olbermann insults on Sarah Palin, Bill O'Reilly insults on John Stewart, Michael Savage insults on Barack "Hussein" Obama, Rahm Emanuel insults on some special interest group. Or Chris Matthews insults us all by saying "I forgot Barack Obama was Black for an hour," and all of this stupidity is shoehorned into what the mainstream media calls a culture war. It pales in comparison. It pales in comparison to erstwhile race riots of the 60s and our leaders getting shot and killed before our very eyes. So the "insult du jour" has replaced the actual news. Who said what about whom first, then we'll get to the real stuff. Oops, looks like we're outta time, just go to our website if you wanna catch up on the real news. What ever that is.

So it's okay, things are okay here and now. None of our leaders are getting shot at thankfully. And if we're just dealing with a few insults here and there mixed in with a side of stupidity, we should be grateful. Or is this something other than what it seems?

Let me tell you one thing, the tens of millions of advertising dollars the networks see from our current culture war ... they never saw anything close to that when they were covering the real culture war of the 1960s. So there's money and tons of it to made from assailing, smearing and marginalizing one another ... AND if you're really good at it and look good while doing it, you're bigger than, more well paid than, more admired than ... a movie star. You are a celebrity.

Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart are the Ray Romano and Jerry Seinfeld of their day. Nothing new really ... but seriously ... how seriously can we take any of it? Look, both O'Reilly and Stewart are very talented smart men and they're informed and they have something to say to their audience ... but they're both selling soap (or pharmaceuticals as it were).

So why DID Chris Matthews remember that he forgot the President was Black? Condelleza Rice was Black, did Matthews ever forget that? But wait a minute, Mr. Matthews, is the President Black or is he mixed race? Because I thought one parent was white, doesn't Barry's Mom play into his character at all?  He must be Black so that commentators like Matthews can forgive themselves and others who insult our intelligence by calling him Black ... or something to that effect. Because the color of the President's skin is obviously more important than what he has to say. Or maybe because Condi Rice was blacker but whiter, while Obama is white but still black. It's so damned convoluted ... it's lost its original meaning if it ever even had one. So why DID Matthews even go there? Because we so desperately need to assuage our guilt for the sins of our slave master's past and reaching for any tattered remnant that might help us do that makes us feel good about ourselves?

Nah, not really. Matthews just forgot Obama was Black. Happens all the time.

Or is the insult war really just a game, a parlor trick for the attention whores of our times? I mean, what was Pat Robertson really saying when he deliberately insulted the people of Haiti hours after that country suffered its worst natural disaster in more than 100 years? Or did Robertson simply forget the Haitian people were suffering for an hour the way Matthews forgot the President was Black for an hour? Could be. In six months time do we forget what Robertson and or Matthews said but remember well enough that they did say something? In other words, remember the brand name but not the content?

Is that what "Insult Nation" is all about?

Dr. Wayne Dyer, a renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development and the author of over 30 books, espouses one simply credo ... "don't be offended."

Think about it for a minute. Think about not being offended by anything anyone says or does ... it's not easy, but it makes life easier and adds so much perspective to the cafeteria food fight the mainstream media calls "the culture war."

Just think of how even better our lives would be if we weren't insulted by anything anyone ever said. Well, I know some cable networks that would go out of business if we stopped paying attention to the insult wars.
 
Let's go back to Uncle Luigi's quote to close us out. "You should show some respect for what other people see and feel, even though it be the exact opposite of what you see and feel." Now Luigi Pirandello was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936 and we often think that writers of the past had the same freedoms we enjoy today. Hardly the case, Pirandello wrote that line under the fascist rule of Mussolini. In fact, Pirandello embraced Mussolini and donned a black shirt in order that his plays might ever see the light of day.
 
Respectful of one another's opinion in fascist Italy?
 
"Oh that Pirandello's a very funny man," Mussolini must have said, "I laugh like a crazy man when I see his plays ... but on e more crack like that and we'll see how funny the funny man really is!"
 
It's a pity Chris Matthews wasn't at the premiere of "It Is So" (If You Think So) ...


"I so much enjoyed Uncle Luigi's play. You know, folks, I almost forgot he was Sicilian for an hour!"










Michael Arturo was born and raised in New York City's Greenwich Village and now lives in Hollywood, CA. where he writes and acts. He co-wrote, produced and starred in "An American Journalist" ... and welcomes all to join the facebook page .Or watch the film @ www.anamericanjournalist.com

I pretty much dislike cutesy games, quizes, chain mail. It's about as much productive as a horoscope - a complete waste of time. Chain mails, threats, nice nice stuff, hug a soldier, pray for this, political hate stuff.... waste of time.


This was passed on to me several times over the past week. Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your name. So I did:


DINO


A very strange poet usually haunted by a Chinese spirit, thus causing him to blurt out random phrases that sound like those of an Asian language and or phrases in English and that make no sense what so ever that usually leave the listener in a state of severe confusion for a few seconds or even many days.


When living in a world filled with lol's and hahahahaha's and rolf's and lmao's, it's hard not to go crazy. If you get annoyed by any of these words you might want to look into using their substitute, Dino.

just about the cutest most sweetest guy in the enitre world .. ever


The almighty master of Italian music.



While this is all astonishingly true, what's the point? To get a smirk? To start a conversation piece? To drive me nuts so I'm forced to blog about it? Why? Why? Why? Yes of course just about each email that passed this on to me, like the thousands of those before them was not in the least remotely trimmed. Just shoot me now.



I mean if you are going to send me political satire stuff..make sure it's not from Newsmax. If you are going to send a joke, make sure it didnt start in 1995. If you are going to send me chain mail, know that I will light a candle a cast a Sicilian curse on your life until you stop. Please trim your emails that you send me. I would like to say thanks for thinking of me, but my horscope said I shouldnt, and I verified it

The Super Bowl isnt a big thing for me. I always watch it though..I havent missed any since I was a little kid. I always feel for the most part the AFC and NFC Championship games are the best games.  Probably because those teams are trying to get to the dance.  Then with all the distractions in two weeks, inevitably one team is pretty rusty when they do play in the Bowl.

My friends are usually surprised that I don't do much on the Super Bowl.  I threw a party once, and a charity event another year...but after that...I havent done anything.  It's weird, because everyone knows I love football, but unless I'm throwing the party I'm not invited.  So I've come accustomed to just watching it with family or alone for the last 15 years or so.

Again this is just another "holiday" so people can drink. Also known as the Stupor Bowl.  I do agree though that the NFL should change from Sunday to Saturday instead.  It would boost the economy across the country.  Bars and restaurants which are already busy would see an increase in business.  You also won't see people taking Monday off which decreases productivity. 

It's a win win situation and the NFL can do it's party by making it happen.  Does it really have to happen on a Sunday?  I'm a traditionalist...but nothing would happen if the game went to Saturday.  Well you'd have more DUI's and those types of things.  Again, it doesnt really effect me...but I'm all about what's good for the country.

I don't support the country making the following Monday a National Holiday either.  I think that's pretty lame.  As powerful and as popular the NFL is...it's just not that big of deal in the scheme of things to warrant such a decree.

Who do I want to win?  Anyone that isnt the Lions.

Ok I don't get it. I have male friends who get their hands done. They get their feet done too. That is, they get pedicures and manicures.

I hear that they are great. That they make your hands and feet feel really good and look good.

Here's the deal though. I just don't care.

Who's is going to look at my big hands anyways? Who the hell is going to look at my feet? Am I missing something there?

I look at these "friends" funny, as if they are just vain. Dainty and vain.

They keep encouraging me to do it, and I just shake my head. Get away from me! I don't care.

Ever walk by one of those nail places at the mall? They are jammed packed. All I can think of is...dang I'm in the wrong business and what a complete waste of money.

I still contend women get their nails done to impress other women, because I certainly have never noticed.  I believe though that men who get their nails done, do it for themselves.

Hmmmm $10 to some starving kid in Haiti, or to get my nails done? Tough call I know.

These are the different types of libertarians. Which are you?  I still am convinced most people are libertarian, the rest are just liberals.
Anarcho Capitalism:
Anarcho capitalists believe that governments monopolize services that would be better left to corporations.

- Sounds kindy nice in theory, but do you really trust Walmart and Microsoft?

Civil Libertarianism:
Civil libertarians believe that the government should not pass laws that restrict, oppress, or selectively fail to protect people in their day-to-day lives.

- Essentially the ACLU. They mean well, but they go overboard more often than not, just to promote their existence.

Classical Liberalism:
Classical liberals agree with the words of the Declaration of Independence: That all people have basic human rights, and that the sole legitimate function of government is to protect those rights. Most of the Founding Fathers, and most of the European philosophers who influenced them, were classical liberals.

- All Hail the founding fathers. I love Thomas Jefferson and he loves me.

Fiscal Libertarianism:
Fiscal libertarians (also referred to as laissez-faire capitalists) believe in free trade, low (or nonexistent) taxes, and minimal (or nonexistent) corporate regulation.

- Most Republicans used to think this way. Most used to vote this way too. You'll here their rhetoric that sides with this, but their actions are different.

Libertarian Socialism:
Libertarian socialists agree with anarcho-capitalists that government is a monopoly and should be abolished, but they believe that nations should be ruled instead by work-share cooperatives or labor unions instead of corporations

- I don't know of anyone like this. I think Noam Chomsky falls under this umbrella. Kind of freaky to me.

Minarchism:
Like anarcho-capitalists and libertarian socialists, minarchists believe that most functions currently served by the government should be served by smaller, non-government groups--but they believe that a government is still needed to serve a few collective needs, such as military defense.

- This has some merit. I support the military part of this. I don't see it as viable though.

Neolibertarianism:
Neolibertarians are fiscal libertarians who support a strong military, and believe that the U.S. government should use that military to overthrow dangerous and oppressive regimes.

- Not much different than Neo-cons, except they spend less. Again I am for an aggressive military, but it has to be valid.

Paleolibertarianism:
Paleolibertarians differ from neolibertarians in that they are isolationists who do not believe that the United States should become entangled in international affairs.

- Ron Paul is this, and it makes sense. Blowback has been proven to exist.

So where do I fall? I consider myself a paleo-conservative. I lean towards social and fiscal libertarianism under the framework of classic liberalism that the founding fathers constructed. I am not an isolationist when it comes to trade or immigration. I believe in a strong military defense, yet I do not support nation building. I do not support giving aid to countries that do not pay us back. I do not support the monetary system that is based on the Federal Reserve printing money. I don't like spiders and snakes, but that aint what it takes to love me.

"I miss Michael Jackson"

This was the Facebook status message from a friend of mine. I was shocked he put this up. I don't really care who likes Michael Jackson, or who really misses him.  The thing I can't figure out is how can you miss someone you don't know, and only as been gone for 7 months?

The guy put out music once every four years, and no one missed him then.  They didnt feel bad he wasnt around not maknig music.  I mean what do these people miss?  The fact he's dead, or the fact he hasnt been around?  He had not been around for long periods of time many times and no one cared.

So his kids go on some award show (The Grammy's I think zzzzzzzz) and give a little speech.  This somehow evokes emotions in people how they miss Michael Jackson?  I don't get it. Hook, line, and sinker...album sales go up.

I don't get how you can miss someone you don't really know, who's been gone before. I'm not knocking the freak. He was a freakin talent for sure.  But I don't miss him.  Never did. Never will.

An old friend of mind had about 3 jars on his shelf of belly button lint he had collected over the years.

I used to collect stamps and coins from around the world.

I collect baseball cards and sport memorablia.

I know someone who collects that Station 54 trinket stuff.

A friend collect precious moments statues.

I used to have a lip print collection. Girls would send me their kisses in a piece of paper, and I'd file it in a folder. It's more fun than autographs.

A lady I know's kid has about 80 webkins.

I know a guy who collect World War II figurines.

A friend has 10,000 pieces of vinly in his music collection.

My one friend collects antique stereo equipment and speakers.

A person I work with collects disney pins.

Why do we collect things? What makes us interested in such things that we feel the need to devote our time and money and become slaves to them? Why do we go crazy, waiting in line? Why do study them? Read about them? Why do we get so passionate about these things? I've been collecting my thoughts and trying to wrap my mind around why I've collected things over the years.



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What do you collect? Can you tell me why you collect them without?

Every friggin year we have to wait to see if Punxatawney Phil see's his shadow or not, to determine if there will be six more weeks of winter. Well I don't pay attention. Not that what he does means anything. I just don't pay attention to winter.

The thought having a shorter winter sounds great. If it could only really happen that some rodent could determine this, then life would be so much easier. Alas though, my winter runs from November 1 through March 31. My New Year's Day is April 1...when baseball rolls round, my personal Holiday of April Fools, tulips, hockey playoffs, and summer approaching.

Now here's my issue though. Just as the ground hog pops his head up to see his shadow; I check the calendar everyday hoping to get to April.

I hibernate for 5 months. I realize it's my choice to hibernate, but there are many factors that lead to this. It is mostly due to the cold climate. I don't like it, I don't want to deal with it. There's less daylight. There's really nothing to do outside that I enjoy in the cold weather.

Do I get to April faster by looking at the calendar? No of course not. Those that do no learn from history are destined to repeat it. I've learned nothing, because I clearly look at April on the calendar.

Actually this is more like the movie Ground Hog Day. Where everything is repeated over and over.

Every friggin year we have to wait to see if Punxatawney Phil see's his shadow or not, to determine if there will be six more weeks of winter. Well I don't pay attention. Not that what he does means anything. I just don't pay attention to winter.

The thought having a shorter winter sounds great. If it could only really happen that some rodent could determine this, then life would be so much easier. Alas though, my winter runs from November 1 through March 31. My New Year's Day is April 1...when baseball rolls round, my personal Holiday of April Fools, tulips, hockey playoffs, and summer approaching.

Now here's my issue though. Just as the ground hog pops his head up to see his shadow; I check the calendar everyday hoping to get to April.

I hibernate for 5 months. I realize it's my choice to hibernate, but there are many factors that lead to this. It is mostly due to the cold climate. I don't like it, I don't want to deal with it. There's less daylight. There's really nothing to do outside that I enjoy in the cold weather.

Do I get to April faster by looking at the calendar? No of course not. Those that do no learn from history are destined to repeat it. I've learned nothing, because I clearly look at April on the calendar.

Actually this is more like the movie Ground Hog Day. Where everything is repeated over and over.

Today's guest post is from someone who I think is very entertaining.  She's been a friend of mine on the social networking scene for a few years.  I always enjoy her posts, and read them often.  Coming from the rural heartland portion of Southern Ohio along the West Virginia border; she as a unique perspective on Americana. Please enjoy Theresa Peace's post.

Welcome to West Virginia, Mr. Dick!
I’m not one to follow the drama and trauma of celebrities, not even that of my beloved Edward Norton. But when it happens right across the river from my home, I do take notice. When I heard that comedian Andy Dick was arrested after groping two men in a bar in Huntington, West Virginia, my first reaction was that I was glad I didn’t buy tickets to see him. My next thought was, what an idiot.

Somewhere in this world there may be a place where a man can walk into a random bar and grab the testicles of another man without causing a commotion, but I can promise you Huntington is not that place. Huntington is one of those towns where you have to be careful who you grope and where. He wouldn't have gotten away with that even at the Stonewall, Huntington’s very own gay bar.

I love stand-up and have been to the Funnybone many times, but I passed up an opportunity to see Mr. Dick. His humor does not appeal to me and his history of blatant disrespect for the dignity of others is repulsive. He has been arrested previously for a sexual assault of a teenage girl in a resteraunt in 2008. His drug abuse is also well known. He used it to get his face back on television for a celebrity re-hab show.

If he is that desperate for negative attention, I have a few suggestions for him:

#1. Urinate on the sidewalk. But wait, he already did that in Columbus Ohio in 2007.

#2. Expose his genitalia to his audience. Or better yet, scream racial slurs at his audience. What? He’s done those too?

#3. Lick the faces of other celebrities at a celebrity roast. Already did that too?


What a guy.

Mr. Dick stayed at the Western Regional Jail but was released on bail in time to do his show Saturday night. I hope he has had enough of West Virginia because West Virginia has had enough of him. My friend in California said they don’t want him back there either. There must be place for people like him. Any suggestions?