It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. When I was probably about 8 or 9 years old I went to the zoo with my family. I remember my uncle was with us, and we were check out all of exhibits and what not. We were looking at the zebras.
I remember it vividly what happened. I remember it every time I go back to the same spot. It's one of those things in your life where it never goes away. I remember looking at the zebras, then I turned around and my family was gone. I kept looking in circles for them.
I started to panic. I was freaking out. Immediately I got this sick feeling in my stomach. This element of fear over took everything about me. Oh no, what was I going to do? Why did they leave me? Where should I go? I remember my body was going into some kind of weird panic mode.
Thankfully, my uncle came running back to get me, as he was looking for me. Realistically I probably wasn't lost. It probably only was for a minute at most. At the time, it felt forever though.
I hate that feeling and subsequently have felt that way before many times. Well not really lost, but in panic mode depending on things that have occurred to me. It's those same feelings. When it happens, it is because I fear something, albeit stress or whatever.I've come to learn that cortisol is a chemical that your system kicks out and drags you down when you are stressed or in fear.
It's not good for your system. I've learned that an old injury had my body in a constant state of stress for quite a bit of time. Making it hard to relax if ever. Now with some physical treatment, and working on eliminating any potential real stress...I am far better off.
I'm sure fear will strike me again. Most people say I am a very laid back person from a caring standpoint; that I seem aloof. The truth is I don't care, and I'm stressing about something else. Although I'm working on removing any cortisol from attacking my body.
Fear...a doctor once told me, that fear is just in my head. The only real fear humans have are loud noises or actually physical pain. The rest is all trained and choice driven. Yeah maybe, but then again why was I scared at the zoo?