Truth: What If...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  What if a bullfrog had wings, would it bump its butt?  What if gasoline was $20 a gallon?  What if Chinese Food was actually good?  What if people stopped buying dogs?  What if plaid was the new polyester?  What if asking what if was equal to saying as if?  What if men started watching the Lifetime channel?  What if it really was the worst of times, and not the best of times?  What if I didn't shave for an entire year?  What if I stopped asking questions?  What if I ate pumpkin pie everyday for a month?  What if I signed my name in chalk everywhere?  What if I just signed my name as X?  What if I put a message in a bottle that said this is a message in a bottle?   What if I told you I don't like Bon Jovi?  What if I told you I don't talk sports with chicks?  What if I told you I can't blow a bubble?  What if I told you that the opposite of reason is woman?  What if I told you that my Facebook friends are nice for a bunch of freakazoids?  What if curiosity really killed the cat?  What if I went over Niagara Falls in a barrel?  What if I had to do it all over again?  What if my mind stopped working?  What if they found a cure for ADD?  What if they finally said who they were?  What if beer could fuel a car?  What if you had to jump rope everyday of your life?  What if there was a jenga tower that was 10 stories high?  What if people took pogo sticks to work instead of driving?  What if it me and not you?  What if you really want to be just friends?  What if you put the lime in the coconut?  What if PMS was really men's fault?  What if God was one of us?