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by HockeyDino

Fan and Hoes

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Fans and Hoes were asked to write a blog..each contributing a sentence.  And a way we go!....

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

But they were lessons that were learned and I moved on.

It took a very long time to come to terms with one particular lesson...

The Lesson is dont talk sports with chicks.

I will talk sports with chicks, not dudes though.

But then a particularly intelligent women challenged me.

Boy, when I say she was cool - she was Red hot!

Of course she was a natural red head.

They're naturally intelligent, you know!

Redheads are my muse, my inspiration, my North Star.

A redhead is my one true love.

A redhead stole my heart.

She was a blonde and dyed it red

I like red heads.

Oh but she was a NATURAL redhead

He heard from nothing but redheads.

Who made a decision

Her red hair glistened and perfectly matched her PJ's she wore to Target on our shopping trip

The redhead then banded together to rule the world.

What to do?

"obey" said the head redhead; she is a nun by profession!

I heard red heads can be habit forming.

But the bald atheists rebelled against this ginger tyranny...

Of course!

Baby, your a hard habit to break.

Ball Nuns wear habits.

Fairies wear boots.

Then came the Blondes, thinking they were superior

And the head fairy was a bald headed athiest...

And the bald atheists made a pact to Eliminate boots and fairies.

And the bald headed atheists rebanded together after their epic war against the gingers to take on this new blonde menace.

Blondes have more fun.

I realized what I really loved most about the blonde was her adoration of Obama.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch aftef the loss of the Deathstar, the galactic empire intensified its search for the greek brunette zambonie drivers...

(this has become stranger than a Frank Zappa song).

Then the atheists decided to take on nuns and habits.

Unfortunately the head fairy was a bit off in the rocker and dreamed of star wars and galaxies far far away.

And those who were clueless didn't understand that conspiracies were everywhere.

(excuse me, the conspiracies don't show up until chapter 18. Did you not read the script? You do know we're still on the fifth book of this trilogy....)

Riding into the sunset -the two -the bald-headed aethiest, and the red-headed nun, and the blonde wannabe -rode toward the nunnery to recruit cool peeps.

N-n-n-o-o-o-w-w-w we're getting somewhere....

And the Blonde and Redheaded Jedi Masters gathered their troops for the takeover of the World of Men...

*fast-typing note: "sorry blondes!"

So back in the galaxy.

The blondes are pissed off.

I can't keep up!!

And the worlds of men were not prepared for.

Not able to keep up with the evil afoot.

Blondes, brunettes and red heads unite!

The fact that their army was nothing more than unemployed payphone cleaners. Their chances of defeating the evil blond and ginger alliance seemed hopeless....

(anyone catch that Hitchhikers reference? pretty sneaky, eh?).

The army was upset that the perwinkle speedo had not made an apperance.

Hopelessly devoted to you.

Unless super weapons could be found.

Our hands are our weapons.

But alas, the greek brunette zamboni drivers had destroyed the Deathstar....

And spun-off wildly into the deepest parts of the galaxy.

However, the bald atheists had one slim chance. They had a weapon on vast power.

Their minds.

They had the cursed black bobby pin of despair!

(for the record: I'm sober)


(wine break)

Bobby flay (redhead).

Great minds think alike, and so when they reached the nunnery, where the best vintages had been stored & tended to for centuries, there was a feast & everyone got drunk.

Where did I go???

That way ------>

Second star to the right.

Are you, are you... a bald-headed atheist? THE bald-headed atheist?

No, i'm the nun.

The bald headed atheist is being played this week by none other than Pat Robertson.....

And Im the perky blonde.

Blondes do it right

When does Camille Crimson make her cameo? Let's cut to that scene, please....

Pat, Blondie, Perky, The Nun & the gang set-off on the Camero made into a zambonie - to save the Universe.

Dino doesn't like perky.

Aaron Childs (and Steve just wrote the next 'Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy' trilogy in one awesome sentence....)

But he does like blondes.

Even though he craves redheads...

Perky Camaro... is that like the Millennium Falcon?

Thank goodness I am a natural brunette.

Dino likes perkys blondes that bake him cookies.

Okay.. we need to regroup and reorganize.......


Vowels MEN!


'blonde in a box'. Did you not read the script either? NO Necro-necro until the 8th book of the trilogy. Geesh!

(looking it up on my kindle as we speak!)

They organized a search party to bring all of the true blondes to the deathstar -where they would be sorted and safely transported to the nunnery (discretion reserved) - by king Dino - of Deathstar fame; and their roots would be tasted - er, tested.

^^ WIN ^^

Are you sure there is no aloohol involved?


We have something far more useful against the Periwinkle Universe..

There Certainly IS alcohol involved! The periwinkle Universe insists upon it!

I don't drink, but have considered it lately.

A nectar of the gods, infused with magical powers.

You should - hanging with this group!

Take cover! yelled the blondes - true and fake alike

Oh baby they r REAL and they r SPECTACULAR !!!!

Your face is my case!!

They are not only the shape of the cultural values, but the power that propels them throught space - in your case.

Jackie Childs.

^caught that!

It was hard -the whole time - I mean to keep up with the typing.

We'll be back to the "best/worst of times, I need a new watch" right after a word from our sponsor.

Our sponsor is

No one wants a saggy death star

The White House won't build a Death Star.

Its not built by the whitehouse. Its built by the army of blondes, redheads and brunettes.

A bra 4 me, a bra 4 you. A,b,c,d's & the rest of the alphabet too.

We will Uphold Our Queendom and Conquer!

Funded by the white house.

We interrupt this broadcast for breaking news. Periwinkle dinosaur Spotted in your viewing area. Armed with bacon. Approach carefully. No reward for capture.

I went on a date with a redhead, ate a BLT, my date paid, and then when we went back to her place, I was discouraged to find that her carpet didn't match her drapes.

I think that belongs on the Bacon post..

I have my horned helmet and breast plate! Ready for battle.... high yo toe hooooo.

It was the age of foolishness.

Xena and the other warrior princesses, their breastplates shining in the supernatural light of the blanket of the starfield, fondled the controls of the deathstar - on the bridge, along the shaft of the corridors, at the head of the controls - taking it higher, and higher.

This blog was brought to you by one liners for no reason by - 

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